This is a fine example of why you are one of my favourite writers, dear. I can't see how anyone could cram any more kinks into a one thousand word fic! This cracked me up:

And he'd stuck up a sign that read, "Emergency Maintenance", because that was just Potter's sense of humor. Apparently, maintaining Draco's arse counted as an emergency in his book.

I loved it! Soo deliciously dirty! *glomps*