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traintracksTitle: In the Space Already Full
Author:traintracks
Threesome: Sirius/Harry/Teddy (est. Harry/Teddy, previous Sirius/Harry)
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~6,500
Written for: Porn Sunday andtorino10154's prompt, "Time travel or some other cooked up magic for Sirius/Harry/Teddy. :D DP is my kink so if you manage, that's what I want." I did manage but not without some angst.
Warnings: cross-gen, reference to chan, angst
Summary: Teddy makes magic (and trouble) getting Harry the one thing he thought he could never have again.
"Okay, so, there's a surprise for you in there," Teddy said when they'd reached their front door.
Harry's heart began to hammer as Teddy didn't often go small for these types of things. Being the most warm-hearted Slytherin to ever graduate Hogwarts, his 'surprises' were often gargantuan displays of love, cunning, and possibly law-breakage. It was enough to make Harry intensely grateful he'd turned down the position as Minister in order to teach. He was under no obligation to arrest his lover.
Still, the words that came out of him were "What have you done?"
Teddy took both Harry's hands in his. Oh Merlin. Something huge.
"I want you to know it's no trick. It's not polyjuice potion. He's not a ghost."
"He?"
Teddy smiled gently. "He's here for twenty-four hours. That's how long it can last, I think. Then he'll have to go back."
"Teddy—"
"I got his consent. The telepathic link was very strong, I'll have you know. He was very eager to come."
Harry's head swam. He could tell by the look in Teddy's eyes. And yet it couldn't possibly be. It couldn't. "I don't—" he began, completely unsure what followed. '…know if I can.' '…think I can take it.' '…know what I'm going to feel if you open that door.' Perhaps decades-old grief. Wounds that could come open and maybe never close again. Harry felt both gratitude and panic crowding his chest.
Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was misjudging the soft compassion in his young husband's eyes. Except that Harry could never misjudge that. He'd known Teddy his whole life practically. If there was someone left on this earth he knew like his own self, it was Teddy Lupin.
"I don't think I can do this," Harry told him.
"I think you'll feel differently. If you just come inside." Teddy tugged him along, opening the door.
"No," Harry found himself saying, even though something stronger in him – his body, the whole of his heart – was saying yes. Was shouting it.
And then he was inside the house, and Teddy was shutting the door, and there he was. Just standing there. Being. Looking exactly the same. Looking so achingly real. His name was out of Harry's mouth before he'd even drawn a breath: "Sirius."
Harry was gripping Teddy's hand so hard, but Teddy was trying to nudge him toward the man across the room – the man cautiously smiling at him, the man whose eyes brimmed with actual salt tears. Tears Harry would taste if he'd just take the five steps over to him and—
"Hello, Harry," Sirius said, and Harry shivered, hearing that voice after so long without it. His voice carried with it years of memories Harry had tried and failed to forget: that too-brief time when they'd shared a home, when Sirius had loved him, when Harry had felt what it was to be truly taken care of for the first time in his life.
When Sirius had taken his virginity and Harry had fallen in love with him and then he'd saved Harry's life when Harry had been trying to save his and then….
Teddy let go of his hand, and before he'd decided to go there, Harry strode straight away into Sirius' arms. His arms. Breath and touch and laughter muffled in his hair and a heartbeat – a strong, unerring heartbeat. Again, before he thought, Harry pulled back only enough to kiss him – and he kissed him -- hard, seeking kisses, holding Sirius' rough face in his hands, unable to get enough, to tell him.
Sirius' arms tightened around Harry, flat possessive palms on his back, warm and alive. He kissed Harry back. Harry had dreamed too often of his kiss, the whiskey on his breath and those whiskers chaffing his cheeks, and how he'd whisper things into Harry's mouth that would blush Harry hot all over.
Twenty-one years later and Harry's whole body ached against him. He bit Sirius' lip, wanting to draw blood, wanting to mark this moment with both his grief and his joy. "What is this?" he breathed between kisses, unable quite yet to stop.
Their kissing turned soft and slow, Harry's hands in Sirius' long hair, at the back of his warm neck. "Harry…" Sirius sighed, and it provoked a whine from Harry's tight throat.
Too soon, Harry pulled back. He looked up into his godfather's face and saw the very same love there, the pride in Harry, the desire. Yet something important was missing. And Harry knew it in that moment to be guilt. Sirius' guilt – that thing he always wore like a heavy cloak, the thing dulling the heat in his eyes – was gone.
Harry swallowed as he realized it wasn't really gone. It just wasn't Sirius any longer who was feeling it. It was Harry himself.
"Teddy," he groaned, turning, releasing Sirius with all the will he had left. He walked back to Teddy, away from Sirius, away from the man who had once meant the world to him and toward the man who had taken his place. "Teddy, I'm—"
Sorry? Ecstatic?
Torn. Impossibly torn.
Teddy held Harry's face in his hands, and Harry heard Sirius' slow footsteps -- his very real boots on the equally real wood floor – as he approached behind him. Still there.
"Teddy, what have you done?"
"Something right," Teddy told him with no trace of regret.
"You really want this?"
Teddy nodded.
Harry resolutely didn't turn to take another look at Sirius. He yearned to. He wanted to drink him in. But that was precisely the problem. "Teddy, if he's only here for so short a time, I—" He felt like he couldn't say it, even though it was horribly obvious. "I want—"
Teddy just smiled knowingly, holding Harry's gaze, consoling him with a thumb over his earlobe like he knew Harry loved. But it was Sirius who broke through the deluge of emotion gripping him. "Harry, my love, we can spend the next twenty-three hours and forty-two minutes feeling awful and whatnot or we could shag each other silly. I'd sort of been promised the second, I'll have you know."
Harry broke in laughter. He searched Teddy's eyes. "You promised him, did you?"
"I felt safe in the assumption, yes."
Harry took a slow breath, then he addressed Sirius, still not turning, "You haven't changed, have you?"
"Not so very much," Sirius answered. And he lay his hand on Harry's hip. A tremble erupted along Harry's body at the touch, and Teddy smiled at him.
"You," he said to Teddy, searching his eyes as if he could find the answers he needed there, the permission. He did. "You did this. For me?"
"For you. For him. For all of us," was Teddy's easy answer. "He's been in my head now for weeks while I worked this out. He's just as you've always described him, Harry. I know why you loved him. Love him," he corrected.
"What sort of magic--?" Harry began.
"Later."
"After."
Sirius and Teddy had spoken together. Harry laughed again, too overwhelmed to respond any differently. "I never thought about how alike you are, but a lot of things are starting to make sense now."
"I don't doubt it," Sirius told him, and this time, with a nod from his husband, Harry did turn to face him, Teddy hot and strong at his back.
Sirius touched his face. "May I?" he asked, nodding to Teddy half behind Harry.
"Bloody hell, where are my manners?" Harry said, blushing. He stepped out of the way a bit. "Teddy Lupin? Sirius Black, my godfather. Sirius? This is my godson and the man I love with all my heart. This is Teddy."
"The boy who brought me here," Sirius breathed. "It is an honor to meet you," he said gravely. Then Teddy – sweet, open Teddy – wrapped his arms around Sirius and pressed close.
"Thank you so much for being here – for coming. It means so much to us."
"Likewise, you marvelous boy," Sirius whispered. "I must say, your mind is one of the most interesting and beautiful places I've ever been." Then, "Would it be rude and presumptuous to ask to kiss you?"
Teddy just leaned back and looked at Harry.
Harry, who had been watching in wide-eyed awe, shook himself just enough to nod his assent. And then the most amazing thing happened and his lover leaned up and kissed his godfather. Harry watched their mouths open, their tongues touch, the way Teddy instantly melted into it and the way Sirius' arms tightened to hold him up.
"Oh my God…" Harry gasped quietly. He watched as Teddy's hair changed color, going dark purple, as Sirius' hands slipped low to his back and Teddy pressed in tighter still.
"So that's where Harry learned to kiss," Teddy breathed against Sirius' smiling lips. Then he turned and held his hand out for Harry. Harry took it, looking between his current lover and his former one, looking at two distinctly different versions of his own life. He entwined his fingers with Teddy's. He reached up to stroke his thumb over Sirius' jaw just like he used to when they were falling asleep.
Sirius took both their hands and said, "Where's the bedroom?"
*
Harry wouldn't simply call it sexual arousal. That is, he would, but then he could never stop there. Not when what he was feeling and experiencing instead bordered on a religious experience.
He and Sirius had stripped Teddy naked, touching his body together, their hands shifting over Teddy's chest, his waist, his hips, between his legs, over his risen cock, down his thighs, stroking his buttocks – and their hands had met often, caressed one another, speaking a silent language neither one had forgotten.
Then Teddy had extricated himself with the excuse, "Don't want to come yet." And he'd lain on the bed and watched them.
Sirius had looked long into Harry's eyes, that small smile ever-present, like Harry's mere existence caused him some glimmer of joy. "Harry," he'd said then, a wealth of emotion in just his name. Everything they'd ever been. Everything they'd never gotten the chance to be.
He didn't say, 'I missed you,' and neither did Harry. They didn't say anything at all. They just touched, slowly, mindfully. Every piece of clothing removed was like the first time between them, was somehow reverent. Harry touched the tattoos on Sirius' chest, like a map of a place he'd once called home. He found himself smiling sadly, even as he was so very hard – so hard he hurt. Sirius just watched Harry touching him, his breath becoming short and ragged. That Harry could still do that to him… The sadness left Harry's smile, and he tilted his face up to be kissed.
Sirius swooped down and swept his tongue into Harry's willing mouth. There was a faint little groan from the bed, and it made Harry's cock jerk up. He opened Sirius' trousers, found him naked underneath, and wrapped his hand around that thick rod of a cock. Sirius grunted into his mouth and then shoved him away. Still wanting to be the one in control. Still pushing Harry away when Harry threatened to wrest it away from him. Harry smiled at him mischievously, his heart joyful. Sirius grabbed him up hard again, devouring the smile off his lips, yanking Harry's trousers down now, grabbing his arse and squeezing tight, making Harry gasp. They started to rut against each other.
A breathy charm came from the bed, and Teddy Vanished their clothes completely.
"An angel," Sirius said of him. "Do you want to have him together first?"
If there was ever a time Harry thought he might combust, it was that moment. He contained himself as best he could and leaned up to whisper in his godfather's ear, "You won't believe his mouth, Sirius."
Sirius growled into his neck and set off a new round of shivers in Harry's body.
They drew back smiling at one another, then they turned and converged on the bed, on Teddy.
"Me?" Teddy said, eyes wide in delighted surprise.
"You," Harry told him. "Get over here."
Teddy scooted to the end of the bed and Harry hauled him up, leaned their foreheads together, and let his hands wander down his sides, his hips, cupping his arse and then kneading it, which he knew drove Teddy wild. This time was no exception, and he whined against Harry's mouth, wanting to be kissed, bucking helplessly against him as though he simply couldn't wait to be fucking.
Harry was panting. "Do you want to suck Sirius' cock while I fuck you from behind?" he said, dipping his fingers into the crack of his lover's arse and stroking.
Teddy nodded, and his hair went blue-black.
Sirius had arranged himself, sitting up against the headboard, legs splayed arrogantly. His expression, though, was one of adoration. "You're sure, angel?"
Harry watched his young lover's eyes turn silver. "Oh, he's sure," he told Sirius with every confidence. How many times had he seen Teddy's eyes change that color right before he went down?
Teddy turned and crawled up the bed. He nuzzled Sirius' hairy thigh, and Harry watched Sirius thread his fingers into Teddy's hair. "How do you stand it, Harry?" Sirius asked as the strands turned violet at his touch.
Harry climbed onto the bed behind Teddy. "Hardly can sometimes."
"So beautiful," Sirius murmured.
Harry's heart swelled with pride. Then he whispered, "Open up, love," catching Sirius' eye, because it was something he had liked to say to Harry eons ago. He caught the twitch of Sirius' knowing smile, and then he watched Teddy spread his knees obligingly. Then before Teddy could take Sirius in his mouth, Harry buried his face between his cheeks and started to rim his delicious arse.
Teddy whimpered. Then his cries were muffled and accompanied by a long sigh from Sirius, and as good as Teddy tasted, as sweet as the little bud of his anus felt against Harry's lips and tongue, Harry would give almost anything to be able to see Teddy's mouth full of Sirius' cock at that moment.
He remembered giving Sirius blowjobs. He remembered his lips stretching, the musky taste, the incongruously soft skin, how deep he'd slide without ever choking Harry once.
He remembered the first time he'd swallowed Sirius' hot come. It had felt like a rite.
Harry licked furiously over Teddy's hole until it relaxed enough for him to push his tongue inside and thrust. Teddy groaned long and hard on Sirius' cock, and Sirius, in turn, hissed, "Harry," in warning. And that made Harry smile. He kissed Teddy's arsehole lovingly, slipping his tongue in and out.
Then he simply couldn't take it anymore – his two lovers' sounds – so Harry knelt up behind Teddy and murmured a Wet charm. Teddy's head was moving in Sirius' lap, and seeing it, Harry thought maybe watching was a mistake after all, because now he was too close to coming.
He lined up, pressed forward, and drove his cock all the way up Teddy's tight arse, Teddy moaning loudly in pleasure with every inch.
One shudder, one brief closing of his eyes, and then when he opened them again – Sirius. Sirius was staring at him, eyes hooded and dark, hips rocking minutely, hand still threaded through Teddy's silky hair. Sirius watched Harry as he pulled back almost all the way, Teddy's rim desperately wide around the flared head of Harry's cock before he shoved back inside. Teddy wailed around the cock in his mouth and arched his back. Harry slid an inch deeper. He settled against Teddy's arse, his gaze locked with Sirius', and then he began to slowly fuck.
Sirius growled and spread his legs as Teddy's mouth got fucked onto his cock at Harry's maddening pace. But Sirius' eyes only left Harry's to travel down Harry's body, to watch the way he fucked, to admire him. When his gaze returned, a crooked smile lit his face. Harry thrust a little faster. Sirius held to the headboard with one hand and fucked up into Teddy's mouth. Harry reached between Teddy's legs to find his cock. He started stroking hurriedly.
Sirius gasped once and then again and then he let his head fall back as he came. Teddy's head bobbed fast, and Harry knew he'd be swallowing it. Just knowing that was enough, and Harry felt it tighten his every muscle, the pleasurable electric jolt that went through his thighs first then seized his bollocks and then shot through his cock and into Teddy's arse. Harry's hand faltered as he came, but Teddy was close enough, and before Harry was through, his lover lifted his mouth from Sirius' cock and fairly screamed through his own orgasm as Harry rode his arse to the end.
*
Once they'd all caught their breath, Teddy sighed sleepily, "Need to rest now."
Harry nudged him. "But you're the young one. Sirius and I are both…" Harry paused. "You haven't aged," he said to Sirius. "When you…" His voice dried up in his throat.
"When I died, I was thirty-seven."
"I'm thirty-seven now," Harry said, somewhat stunned.
"Weird, isn't it?" Sirius said, smirking. "But after Azkaban, I looked a good ten years older than I was. So," he shrugged, "I still do."
"We're bloody legal now, aren't we?" Harry laughed.
Sirius kissed his forehead – like he used to.
Teddy wormed down under the covers.
"Are you all right?" Harry asked, brushing Teddy's hair back and observing that he was indeed pale.
Teddy nodded. "Explain later. M'fine. Sleep."
"Okay, love," Harry said, frowning a little.
Teddy pried open his eyes and smiled at him. "Don't worry. Be with Sirius." Then he snuggled beneath the covers once more and appeared to drop straight away into a deep sleep.
Harry turned to Sirius and whispered, "Would you like a drink?"
"That would be divine." Sirius winked, and it sent the same shivers skating along Harry's skin that it always had.
They dressed and Harry lowered the lights in the bedroom so that Teddy could sleep. He left the door cracked and then went for this oldest unopened bottle of Ogden's while Sirius sat on the sofa and waited.
Sirius was sitting on Harry's sofa twenty-one years after his death. Harry's heart skipped a few beats while he poured.
He handed Sirius his whiskey and then sat opposite him and snapped a fire going in the hearth. They sipped, looking at each other.
"Hi, Sirius," Harry said, suffused with warmth.
"Hi, Harry," Sirius replied, answering Harry's smile with his own.
They both just stared at one another for a long moment.
Sirius spoke first. "He's an Unspeakable – isn't he?"
Harry nodded. He couldn't help the proud little smile.
"So young, too."
"Twenty. He went straight to the Ministry after school. He's the best they've got. Doesn’t tell me bollocks, though. Isn't supposed to. Crazy, right? I mean, I'm the Boy Who Lived. I'm the bloody Chosen One." He laughed at the absurdity.
"And you were almost Minster of Magic." Sirius shook his head bemusedly.
"How do you know that?"
Sirius shrugged. "Information is not linear or obvious in my sphere. I've kept my eye on you, though, Harry."
Harry felt his whole body warming to the liquor, to Sirius' proximity, to his words, the whole barmy situation. "You have?"
"In a manner of speaking. I touch in with your parents, too."
Harry sat up straighter.
Sirius dashed his hopes. "They can't come here. They're…occupied in the ethers, I guess you could say. But I report on you diligently. We all witnessed your handfasting with the lad." He winked.
"You did?" Harry's voice was almost all breath. His drink was forgotten.
"He's lovely," Sirius said. "You're really beautiful together."
Harry smiled. "I know. Teddy's my beating heart, Sirius. He's… There really aren't words for him." A knot of sadness formed in his chest. "I thought, though…" He looked down at his hands. "I thought that I would get over you." Harry swallowed against the lump that had gotten worse rather than better. He couldn't meet Sirius' steady gaze. "I didn't." The fire cracked behind the grate. When he finally looked up, he saw that Sirius was watching him, just listening. "Are you over me?"
"Would I be here if I was?"
"Maybe. Maybe that's just who you are. You come when called."
"Woof," Sirius deadpanned.
"You know what I mean." The pain of being lured to the Department of Ministries still plagued him. The knowledge that if he'd done his duty and practiced Occlumency with the man who he now knew to be the greatest hero of all-- If he hadn't been so rash and young and stupid.
"I am not, nor will I ever be, over you," Sirius said quietly.
Harry swallowed against the rise of emotion. "What are you now? If you don't mind me asking."
"Ask the Unspeakable," Sirius said wryly. "I feel the same as I did when I was alive. But I also know I won't be staying. I know that when I'm not coalesced into this body, I'm also not solely this personality either. I'm both more and less out there. I can focus into the reality of 'Sirius Black', but that's mostly when I want to check in on you. Otherwise I'm…" He shrugged. "More and less," he said again, shaking his head. Then he downed his firewhiskey. "Merlin, that's good. Not as good as sex, but still quite charming."
While Sirius had spoken, Harry's eyes had filled with irrational tears. He set his own drink to the side. "Sirius," he said. "I don’t want to be men. I don't want to be two men sitting here talking. I can't. Not with so little time."
"What does my boy need?" Sirius asked, his voice turning soft, willing to give and be anything.
Harry moved over onto the sofa with him and curled up against Sirius' side, trembling. "I want to be your boy," he whispered. "I want to be what we were." One tear fell down his face. Sirius wrapped his arms around him, and Harry buried his face against his chest. "I want you to hold me and tell me it's going to be all right, Sirius."
Sirius dropped his mouth into Harry's wild hair. "It's going to be all right."
*
Sirius led Harry back to the bed, and Harry let Sirius undress him again. When he was naked, he crawled in next to his sleeping husband and lay down on his back, waiting.
Sirius stripped, and Harry watched, drinking him in – his marred skin, the dark pubic hair around his heavy cock, everything. Sirius crawled up over him. Harry felt scared and safe and excited, just as he always used to feel. He felt that knot of sadness loosen and diffuse through his body like a dim magic, threading old agonies through his blood, filling him with memories and yearnings and the horrible knowledge of the finite nature of things.
"Fuck me," he whispered to Sirius. He was trembling so badly.
Sirius lifted Harry's legs over his shoulders, bending him in half, making him feel small and vulnerable once again. Sirius snuck a hand down between them and pressed a finger into Harry, whispering him slippery at the same time. Harry gasped as Sirius worked him open, added a second finger, told Harry how perfect he still was, added a third.
"I love you," Harry told him. "I'll always love you."
"That's because I bonded to you when we made love once," Sirius confessed with a sad little smile even as, over and over again, he filled Harry's arse with his fingers. At Harry's look, he nodded. "I didn't mean to. It was an accident. I'm sorry, my love."
"Sirius…" The fingers moving in him made him ache and need more. Harry pushed against the headboard for leverage.
"I adore you," Sirius told him. "I always have. That will never end." He changed the angle of his hand and a slow refulgent burn tided over Harry's whole body.
"Oh my God," Harry breathed. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He was bonded to Sirius. He was handfasted to Teddy. No human heart should be able to hold that much love. Harry reached out for his lover, and Teddy, maybe half awake, turned toward him in the bed and laid his head in Harry's outstretched hand with a little mewl of contentment.
"MmmHarry…" He opened his eyes. He blinked. "Oh I want to see this," he breathed, stretching luxuriously.
Harry stroked his indigo hair and then looked back up into Sirius' eyes. Sirius nodded, not needing his words, and he withdrew his fingers carefully, replacing them with his sturdy cock. He braced himself – and pushed.
Harry opened his mouth to say something, anything, but he couldn't. He could only pant and try not to scream. Sirius pressed deeper and deeper into him. Harry balled his hand into a fist in Teddy's hair.
Sirius' knees slipped, and he jostled them both back into position as he finally sheathed himself completely, groaning over Harry.
"Sirius, please," Harry whispered. "Not slow. Not easy. Do it hard. I need it hard. Please."
Sirius smiled wolfishly down at him. "That's my Harry," he said, already losing his breath, already beginning to thrust, slamming into him, making Harry have to let go of Teddy to brace both arms over his head.
"Make me—" Harry said. "Make me remember, Sirius."
Sirius growled low in his throat and whipped his hips, going at him as though he meant to hurt him. Harry wanted it to hurt. He wanted more than he could ever have.
And then Harry felt Teddy's hand very deliberately settling over his heart. He was kneeling beside them now, and he had his other hand on Sirius' rippling back, and something happened. Something warm and tingling – something that unbraided the grief and let it flow out of him – something that filled Harry with unspeakable well-being and trust.
"What are you--?" he tried, but then the orgasm hit him, and all he could do was arch under Sirius, shaking, as he realized that it was happening for him, too, and Sirius was calling his name and coming, filling him with it, rocking over him, his face this beautiful rictus of pleasure.
And Teddy. When Harry turned his head to see what he was doing, he saw Teddy there, his eyes closed, calm, a picture of bliss, touching them both, his hair like white gold, his whole body glowing and pulsing.
"Jesus," Harry whispered.
And then the light around him went dim, and his hands fell away, and Teddy crumpled to the bed in a heap. Sirius pulled out of Harry carefully but quickly and they both turned to Teddy. "Teddy? My love, are you all right?"
Teddy swallowed. He nodded vaguely. "M'okay," he whispered. "Think I…took a couple hours…off this whole thing, though, sorry."
"Wait, Teddy, you're doing all this?"
He nodded.
"You didn’t just bring him. You're keeping him here?"
"Mostly…me. Also…artifact. Can't say…more. S'Unspeakable."
"Teddy, goddamnit, you're hurting yourself to do this!" Harry shouted at him and then softened his voice with effort, stroking his husband's hair. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."
"Not hurt," he amended, still with his eyes closed. "Effort. Extraordinary effort. Difficult magic. But not hurt, Harry."
Harry looked at Sirius. "Did he explain it to you then?"
"The broad strokes," Sirius admitted. "Can I help it if he's as reckless as I am? Was. Am."
Harry turned back to Teddy. "Are you sure you're not harming yourself by doing this?"
"I am…a better wizard…than you ever were…Harry Potter."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Oh, great. Yes, let's make it a competition, shall we? Teddy, you have nothing to prove to me. I know how bloody amazing you are."
"Taught him everything he knows?" Sirius couldn't seem to help but add cheekily, his hand soothing up and down Teddy's shin.
Harry gave his godfather a little shove.
Teddy went on. "Not about…proof." He finally opened his eyes. "About…love."
Harry sighed.
"Can't argue with that," Sirius said, laying his other hand on Harry's back. Harry shivered. He could still feel Sirius' cock, the friction of its slide inside him. He was once again sticky with Sirius' come, which was rather marvelous.
But he couldn't take his eyes off Teddy. His Teddy. Who'd done this for Harry's love, for Sirius', and because he himself loved beyond all reason. Harry bent down and kissed Teddy's temple. "I love you so bloody much," he whispered to him.
"Mmm me, too. Sleep s'more."
"Merlin, Teddy, you're incredible," Harry told him. "Please don't hurt yourself. Promise me that."
"'Kay. Promise. Shower sex…morning…" he got out, and then he was snoring.
Harry laughed softly, stroking his hair once more. Then he turned to Sirius who opened his arms for him. Harry moved into them, pressed his face into the side of Sirius' neck where he always managed to smell like spruce and lavender, and silently, gratefully, Harry just breathed.
*
Of all the things they could've then spent the night doing, they played cards. Sirius had once taught him how to play, and Harry had hardly played since. He'd considered trying to fuck as much as possible – and that would have absolutely been a worthwhile way to use their time, but there were two things wrong with it, and one was that Harry just couldn't conceive of making love to another man over and over again when his husband was passed out exhausted in the next room. It wasn't that he didn't love Sirius almost as fiercely as Teddy. It was just that he couldn't divide his feelings so freely, and a part of him, of his heart, lay in that bed dead asleep and murmuring adorable nonsense things about pygmy puffs in his slumber.
The other reason was whatever Teddy had done while Sirius had been inside of him. Harry couldn't exactly name what had gone on, but he did know that he would never forget it – would never ever forget one single touch of Sirius' hands, one flash of lust in his eyes, one thrust of his cock. None of it. Teddy, somehow, had made that permanent for him. Harry no longer felt desperate to have Sirius again. He felt sure they'd fuck again before the time was up. He wanted to suck Sirius off for one thing, and he hadn't gotten to do that yet. But as much as he looked forward to it, it wasn't this profound and terrible stinging sense of lost time.
It just was. It was a heady, tension-filled wait. And it was lovely.
Harry'd also thought about talking deep into the night, asking everything he could about what the afterlife was like for Sirius, how his parents were, if they were 'more and less', too. He wanted to ask about Dumbledore, about Remus and Tonks – wanted to share that with Teddy if he could. And Harry wanted to ask about Severus Snape.
But every time he tried, something stopped him. Something kept him quiet, kept him from talking about the great mysteries of the universe and magic and love and loss. He simply wanted to hear Sirius laugh. He wanted those years of casual touches and intimate moments stolen from him. And he didn't need them all tonight. He just needed a few hours. Gin rummy and hot tea and Sirius trying to cheat at cards while he rubbed his foot along Harry's calf under the table.
"Plonker, I saw that."
"Saw what?"
"God, even your innocent face is utterly debauched, Sirius."
"I'll show you debauched."
They'd ended the game rolling around laughing on the kitchen floor, knocking the salt shaker off the table in the process.
When they went back to bed, dawn was barely showing through the gaps in the drapes.
"Can't stay awake," Harry complained.
"Let me hold you while you sleep," Sirius offered.
And then he'd done just that – Harry curled around a still-sleeping Teddy and Sirius curled around him.
*
Harry had enlarged the shower first thing the next morning. And while he cooked up some breakfast, he could still sort of taste Sirius' come. He could still taste Teddy's, too. And his knees still hurt from all that time on the wet tile going between them. And he was smiling a little.
Teddy started the coffee and gave him a sweet kiss on his shoulder as he passed to the cupboard for mugs.
Sirius was at the table, reading the paper. "Still printing utter horseshit, I see."
"Yeah," Harry and Teddy said simultaneously in the exact same bemused tone.
They ate together. Conversation was surprisingly easy. And then, because Teddy's strength seemed to have returned, they fucked right there in the kitchen after they ate. The remains of breakfast got wanded into the sink (a little too forcefully, because Harry and Teddy tried to both do it at the same time) and then Harry bent Teddy over the table, ripped his trousers down, and entered him. He draped himself over Teddy's back and just languidly rolled his hips, his hands over Teddy's gripping the table edge. Until Sirius plowed into him from behind, and they had to employ three charms just to keep the neighbors from hearing and to keep the kitchen table from ending up in the middle of the living room they went at it so hard.
And afterwards, Teddy once more had to go lie down. Harry followed him in. "I'm worried about you."
"You think I'm…lying to you?"
"I think maybe you don't know how much this might be harming you. Super wizard though you are," he added only half (maybe less) joking.
"It's difficult. But nothing I can't…handle once a year or so."
Harry just stared at him. "This can happen again?"
"If you'll let me, you over-protective git."
Harry snogged him silent then. He doubted such a feeling of happiness had ever entered his heart so suddenly in his life. As he kissed his husband, one thin tear slid down his cheek and met their lips.
Teddy caught his breath from the kiss and then told him, "Backlash…a week maybe, but…"
"Teddy—"
"No, Harry. It's so worth it. So worth it."
Harry stroked his face.
"Maybe an hour more," Teddy warned him. "Go be with him."
"I want to be here with you, too."
Teddy shook his head. "Gotta sleep. Be with Sirius. Trust me, Harry."
"I do." Harry pulled the covers up over him and stepped quietly out of the bedroom.
Sirius was waiting for him on the sofa again. Without a word, Harry folded himself into Sirius' side and his godfather's arms came around him. He listened to Sirius' heart beating for five of the shortest minutes of his life.
"Teddy said you can come back."
Sirius' arms tightened around him. "Every so often."
"Yeah."
"Harry, I need to tell you something."
Harry's heart lurched in fear. "What."
"Oh no, nothing bad. It's quite wonderful really. I just…I wasn't sure if I should tell you before, but I think I have to now, before the time comes and it's another year with you not knowing."
"Sirius, bloody what?" Harry groused, raising his head from his chest.
Sirius took a deep breath. "That boy is my soul family."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, we're part of the very same stuff, Harry, he and I. He's a part of the bond. I can feel it."
"Are you saying he's you?" Harry felt impossibly, wildly excited by the idea.
"Not exactly. That would diminish who Teddy is – how he's himself. But I suppose in a manner of speaking, we share a soul. I'd love to take credit for sending him to you – for extracting some small piece of myself and giving it to him and then giving him to you, but it wasn't at all that intentional. Rather like the bonding. I think it just is. You know?"
"Yeah," Harry answered, bewildered and content both. Merlin, he'd chosen the same soul twice! He almost wanted to laugh with the perfect, ridiculous symmetry of it. "Yeah," he said again, laying his head on Sirius' chest once more, and they simply breathed together for a long time. When Harry spoke again, he was surprised at the clog of tears in his voice. "What will happen?"
"I've been thinking about that. I think I should leave through the door." He kissed the top of Harry's head. "I don't think it should be like before."
Harry knew he was thinking about the Veil – how he didn't want to just vanish, just fade away in front of Harry's eyes.
"If I go through the door, it'll be more like it truly is." He leaned back and sought Harry's gaze. Harry lifted his chin and looked at him. "It's just one visit over – and one not yet begun."
Harry wrapped his hand around his godfather's neck and pressed his lips to Sirius'. He parted his lips to feel Sirius' breath. His living breath…
Then he nodded. "It's time, isn't it?"
"I think so."
"I want to get Teddy."
"Okay."
"But first."
"Yes."
Harry crawled on top of him, straddled him, and he kissed him rough and wet. He kissed him deep. He stifled the tears that wanted to come, and he just kissed Sirius until they were both breathless, until he felt faint. And then he kissed him some more.
Harry knew it would hurt too much to linger, so when he could, he broke it off and stood, straightening his clothes and clearing his throat. "I'll be right back." He left the room, hearing Sirius stand up, getting ready to go.
To go.
And even though his mind knew the difference, his heart still ached as he jostled Teddy's shoulder and whispered, "Love. Love, wake up."
"Mmm?"
"He's going to go now. Do you want to say good-bye?"
"Mm-hm." Teddy threw back the cover and then sat, scrubbing at his eyes. Harry helped him stand and wrapped his arm around his husband to help him walk. He was very weak.
They emerged into the living room, Sirius already standing in front of the door. Harry's whole body rejected the idea of his leaving. His throat closed horribly. He felt fifteen years old again. But he had his arm around his young husband. He'd defeated Voldemort decades ago. He was not that boy, and he couldn't and no longer wanted to go back to being that boy. Not for more than a few stolen hours in the arms of Sirius Black.
Harry, the man, walked forward until they were close enough for Teddy to be transferred into Sirius' embrace. Sirius held him for a long, quiet moment.
Pieces of the same soul. Harry couldn't help but smile at the two of them, shades of the same rebellious heart.
Then Teddy moved back. He said it as easy as anything. "I love you."
"I love you, too, angel," Sirius answered. "You are so good for him. Do you know that?"
Teddy wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and leaned his head on his shoulder. "Mm hmm." He smelled like sex and coffee. His hair was mousy brown from exhaustion, and he was still extraordinarily beautiful.
"Harry," Sirius said, touching his cheek.
Harry didn't want to hug him. He didn't think he'd be able to let go. His arm tightened around Teddy. He leaned his head into Sirius' hand and closed his eyes for that moment. There was nothing more to say. Except his name, one more time, "Sirius."
And then the first love of his life turned, opened the door, and with one last winking glance back at them, called, "See you later," and then left.
Teddy turned in Harry's arms, and they held each other, standing in the space he'd left empty, standing in the space already full.
Author:
traintracksThreesome: Sirius/Harry/Teddy (est. Harry/Teddy, previous Sirius/Harry)
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~6,500
Written for: Porn Sunday and
torino10154's prompt, "Time travel or some other cooked up magic for Sirius/Harry/Teddy. :D DP is my kink so if you manage, that's what I want." I did manage but not without some angst.Warnings: cross-gen, reference to chan, angst
Summary: Teddy makes magic (and trouble) getting Harry the one thing he thought he could never have again.
"Okay, so, there's a surprise for you in there," Teddy said when they'd reached their front door.
Harry's heart began to hammer as Teddy didn't often go small for these types of things. Being the most warm-hearted Slytherin to ever graduate Hogwarts, his 'surprises' were often gargantuan displays of love, cunning, and possibly law-breakage. It was enough to make Harry intensely grateful he'd turned down the position as Minister in order to teach. He was under no obligation to arrest his lover.
Still, the words that came out of him were "What have you done?"
Teddy took both Harry's hands in his. Oh Merlin. Something huge.
"I want you to know it's no trick. It's not polyjuice potion. He's not a ghost."
"He?"
Teddy smiled gently. "He's here for twenty-four hours. That's how long it can last, I think. Then he'll have to go back."
"Teddy—"
"I got his consent. The telepathic link was very strong, I'll have you know. He was very eager to come."
Harry's head swam. He could tell by the look in Teddy's eyes. And yet it couldn't possibly be. It couldn't. "I don't—" he began, completely unsure what followed. '…know if I can.' '…think I can take it.' '…know what I'm going to feel if you open that door.' Perhaps decades-old grief. Wounds that could come open and maybe never close again. Harry felt both gratitude and panic crowding his chest.
Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was misjudging the soft compassion in his young husband's eyes. Except that Harry could never misjudge that. He'd known Teddy his whole life practically. If there was someone left on this earth he knew like his own self, it was Teddy Lupin.
"I don't think I can do this," Harry told him.
"I think you'll feel differently. If you just come inside." Teddy tugged him along, opening the door.
"No," Harry found himself saying, even though something stronger in him – his body, the whole of his heart – was saying yes. Was shouting it.
And then he was inside the house, and Teddy was shutting the door, and there he was. Just standing there. Being. Looking exactly the same. Looking so achingly real. His name was out of Harry's mouth before he'd even drawn a breath: "Sirius."
Harry was gripping Teddy's hand so hard, but Teddy was trying to nudge him toward the man across the room – the man cautiously smiling at him, the man whose eyes brimmed with actual salt tears. Tears Harry would taste if he'd just take the five steps over to him and—
"Hello, Harry," Sirius said, and Harry shivered, hearing that voice after so long without it. His voice carried with it years of memories Harry had tried and failed to forget: that too-brief time when they'd shared a home, when Sirius had loved him, when Harry had felt what it was to be truly taken care of for the first time in his life.
When Sirius had taken his virginity and Harry had fallen in love with him and then he'd saved Harry's life when Harry had been trying to save his and then….
Teddy let go of his hand, and before he'd decided to go there, Harry strode straight away into Sirius' arms. His arms. Breath and touch and laughter muffled in his hair and a heartbeat – a strong, unerring heartbeat. Again, before he thought, Harry pulled back only enough to kiss him – and he kissed him -- hard, seeking kisses, holding Sirius' rough face in his hands, unable to get enough, to tell him.
Sirius' arms tightened around Harry, flat possessive palms on his back, warm and alive. He kissed Harry back. Harry had dreamed too often of his kiss, the whiskey on his breath and those whiskers chaffing his cheeks, and how he'd whisper things into Harry's mouth that would blush Harry hot all over.
Twenty-one years later and Harry's whole body ached against him. He bit Sirius' lip, wanting to draw blood, wanting to mark this moment with both his grief and his joy. "What is this?" he breathed between kisses, unable quite yet to stop.
Their kissing turned soft and slow, Harry's hands in Sirius' long hair, at the back of his warm neck. "Harry…" Sirius sighed, and it provoked a whine from Harry's tight throat.
Too soon, Harry pulled back. He looked up into his godfather's face and saw the very same love there, the pride in Harry, the desire. Yet something important was missing. And Harry knew it in that moment to be guilt. Sirius' guilt – that thing he always wore like a heavy cloak, the thing dulling the heat in his eyes – was gone.
Harry swallowed as he realized it wasn't really gone. It just wasn't Sirius any longer who was feeling it. It was Harry himself.
"Teddy," he groaned, turning, releasing Sirius with all the will he had left. He walked back to Teddy, away from Sirius, away from the man who had once meant the world to him and toward the man who had taken his place. "Teddy, I'm—"
Sorry? Ecstatic?
Torn. Impossibly torn.
Teddy held Harry's face in his hands, and Harry heard Sirius' slow footsteps -- his very real boots on the equally real wood floor – as he approached behind him. Still there.
"Teddy, what have you done?"
"Something right," Teddy told him with no trace of regret.
"You really want this?"
Teddy nodded.
Harry resolutely didn't turn to take another look at Sirius. He yearned to. He wanted to drink him in. But that was precisely the problem. "Teddy, if he's only here for so short a time, I—" He felt like he couldn't say it, even though it was horribly obvious. "I want—"
Teddy just smiled knowingly, holding Harry's gaze, consoling him with a thumb over his earlobe like he knew Harry loved. But it was Sirius who broke through the deluge of emotion gripping him. "Harry, my love, we can spend the next twenty-three hours and forty-two minutes feeling awful and whatnot or we could shag each other silly. I'd sort of been promised the second, I'll have you know."
Harry broke in laughter. He searched Teddy's eyes. "You promised him, did you?"
"I felt safe in the assumption, yes."
Harry took a slow breath, then he addressed Sirius, still not turning, "You haven't changed, have you?"
"Not so very much," Sirius answered. And he lay his hand on Harry's hip. A tremble erupted along Harry's body at the touch, and Teddy smiled at him.
"You," he said to Teddy, searching his eyes as if he could find the answers he needed there, the permission. He did. "You did this. For me?"
"For you. For him. For all of us," was Teddy's easy answer. "He's been in my head now for weeks while I worked this out. He's just as you've always described him, Harry. I know why you loved him. Love him," he corrected.
"What sort of magic--?" Harry began.
"Later."
"After."
Sirius and Teddy had spoken together. Harry laughed again, too overwhelmed to respond any differently. "I never thought about how alike you are, but a lot of things are starting to make sense now."
"I don't doubt it," Sirius told him, and this time, with a nod from his husband, Harry did turn to face him, Teddy hot and strong at his back.
Sirius touched his face. "May I?" he asked, nodding to Teddy half behind Harry.
"Bloody hell, where are my manners?" Harry said, blushing. He stepped out of the way a bit. "Teddy Lupin? Sirius Black, my godfather. Sirius? This is my godson and the man I love with all my heart. This is Teddy."
"The boy who brought me here," Sirius breathed. "It is an honor to meet you," he said gravely. Then Teddy – sweet, open Teddy – wrapped his arms around Sirius and pressed close.
"Thank you so much for being here – for coming. It means so much to us."
"Likewise, you marvelous boy," Sirius whispered. "I must say, your mind is one of the most interesting and beautiful places I've ever been." Then, "Would it be rude and presumptuous to ask to kiss you?"
Teddy just leaned back and looked at Harry.
Harry, who had been watching in wide-eyed awe, shook himself just enough to nod his assent. And then the most amazing thing happened and his lover leaned up and kissed his godfather. Harry watched their mouths open, their tongues touch, the way Teddy instantly melted into it and the way Sirius' arms tightened to hold him up.
"Oh my God…" Harry gasped quietly. He watched as Teddy's hair changed color, going dark purple, as Sirius' hands slipped low to his back and Teddy pressed in tighter still.
"So that's where Harry learned to kiss," Teddy breathed against Sirius' smiling lips. Then he turned and held his hand out for Harry. Harry took it, looking between his current lover and his former one, looking at two distinctly different versions of his own life. He entwined his fingers with Teddy's. He reached up to stroke his thumb over Sirius' jaw just like he used to when they were falling asleep.
Sirius took both their hands and said, "Where's the bedroom?"
*
Harry wouldn't simply call it sexual arousal. That is, he would, but then he could never stop there. Not when what he was feeling and experiencing instead bordered on a religious experience.
He and Sirius had stripped Teddy naked, touching his body together, their hands shifting over Teddy's chest, his waist, his hips, between his legs, over his risen cock, down his thighs, stroking his buttocks – and their hands had met often, caressed one another, speaking a silent language neither one had forgotten.
Then Teddy had extricated himself with the excuse, "Don't want to come yet." And he'd lain on the bed and watched them.
Sirius had looked long into Harry's eyes, that small smile ever-present, like Harry's mere existence caused him some glimmer of joy. "Harry," he'd said then, a wealth of emotion in just his name. Everything they'd ever been. Everything they'd never gotten the chance to be.
He didn't say, 'I missed you,' and neither did Harry. They didn't say anything at all. They just touched, slowly, mindfully. Every piece of clothing removed was like the first time between them, was somehow reverent. Harry touched the tattoos on Sirius' chest, like a map of a place he'd once called home. He found himself smiling sadly, even as he was so very hard – so hard he hurt. Sirius just watched Harry touching him, his breath becoming short and ragged. That Harry could still do that to him… The sadness left Harry's smile, and he tilted his face up to be kissed.
Sirius swooped down and swept his tongue into Harry's willing mouth. There was a faint little groan from the bed, and it made Harry's cock jerk up. He opened Sirius' trousers, found him naked underneath, and wrapped his hand around that thick rod of a cock. Sirius grunted into his mouth and then shoved him away. Still wanting to be the one in control. Still pushing Harry away when Harry threatened to wrest it away from him. Harry smiled at him mischievously, his heart joyful. Sirius grabbed him up hard again, devouring the smile off his lips, yanking Harry's trousers down now, grabbing his arse and squeezing tight, making Harry gasp. They started to rut against each other.
A breathy charm came from the bed, and Teddy Vanished their clothes completely.
"An angel," Sirius said of him. "Do you want to have him together first?"
If there was ever a time Harry thought he might combust, it was that moment. He contained himself as best he could and leaned up to whisper in his godfather's ear, "You won't believe his mouth, Sirius."
Sirius growled into his neck and set off a new round of shivers in Harry's body.
They drew back smiling at one another, then they turned and converged on the bed, on Teddy.
"Me?" Teddy said, eyes wide in delighted surprise.
"You," Harry told him. "Get over here."
Teddy scooted to the end of the bed and Harry hauled him up, leaned their foreheads together, and let his hands wander down his sides, his hips, cupping his arse and then kneading it, which he knew drove Teddy wild. This time was no exception, and he whined against Harry's mouth, wanting to be kissed, bucking helplessly against him as though he simply couldn't wait to be fucking.
Harry was panting. "Do you want to suck Sirius' cock while I fuck you from behind?" he said, dipping his fingers into the crack of his lover's arse and stroking.
Teddy nodded, and his hair went blue-black.
Sirius had arranged himself, sitting up against the headboard, legs splayed arrogantly. His expression, though, was one of adoration. "You're sure, angel?"
Harry watched his young lover's eyes turn silver. "Oh, he's sure," he told Sirius with every confidence. How many times had he seen Teddy's eyes change that color right before he went down?
Teddy turned and crawled up the bed. He nuzzled Sirius' hairy thigh, and Harry watched Sirius thread his fingers into Teddy's hair. "How do you stand it, Harry?" Sirius asked as the strands turned violet at his touch.
Harry climbed onto the bed behind Teddy. "Hardly can sometimes."
"So beautiful," Sirius murmured.
Harry's heart swelled with pride. Then he whispered, "Open up, love," catching Sirius' eye, because it was something he had liked to say to Harry eons ago. He caught the twitch of Sirius' knowing smile, and then he watched Teddy spread his knees obligingly. Then before Teddy could take Sirius in his mouth, Harry buried his face between his cheeks and started to rim his delicious arse.
Teddy whimpered. Then his cries were muffled and accompanied by a long sigh from Sirius, and as good as Teddy tasted, as sweet as the little bud of his anus felt against Harry's lips and tongue, Harry would give almost anything to be able to see Teddy's mouth full of Sirius' cock at that moment.
He remembered giving Sirius blowjobs. He remembered his lips stretching, the musky taste, the incongruously soft skin, how deep he'd slide without ever choking Harry once.
He remembered the first time he'd swallowed Sirius' hot come. It had felt like a rite.
Harry licked furiously over Teddy's hole until it relaxed enough for him to push his tongue inside and thrust. Teddy groaned long and hard on Sirius' cock, and Sirius, in turn, hissed, "Harry," in warning. And that made Harry smile. He kissed Teddy's arsehole lovingly, slipping his tongue in and out.
Then he simply couldn't take it anymore – his two lovers' sounds – so Harry knelt up behind Teddy and murmured a Wet charm. Teddy's head was moving in Sirius' lap, and seeing it, Harry thought maybe watching was a mistake after all, because now he was too close to coming.
He lined up, pressed forward, and drove his cock all the way up Teddy's tight arse, Teddy moaning loudly in pleasure with every inch.
One shudder, one brief closing of his eyes, and then when he opened them again – Sirius. Sirius was staring at him, eyes hooded and dark, hips rocking minutely, hand still threaded through Teddy's silky hair. Sirius watched Harry as he pulled back almost all the way, Teddy's rim desperately wide around the flared head of Harry's cock before he shoved back inside. Teddy wailed around the cock in his mouth and arched his back. Harry slid an inch deeper. He settled against Teddy's arse, his gaze locked with Sirius', and then he began to slowly fuck.
Sirius growled and spread his legs as Teddy's mouth got fucked onto his cock at Harry's maddening pace. But Sirius' eyes only left Harry's to travel down Harry's body, to watch the way he fucked, to admire him. When his gaze returned, a crooked smile lit his face. Harry thrust a little faster. Sirius held to the headboard with one hand and fucked up into Teddy's mouth. Harry reached between Teddy's legs to find his cock. He started stroking hurriedly.
Sirius gasped once and then again and then he let his head fall back as he came. Teddy's head bobbed fast, and Harry knew he'd be swallowing it. Just knowing that was enough, and Harry felt it tighten his every muscle, the pleasurable electric jolt that went through his thighs first then seized his bollocks and then shot through his cock and into Teddy's arse. Harry's hand faltered as he came, but Teddy was close enough, and before Harry was through, his lover lifted his mouth from Sirius' cock and fairly screamed through his own orgasm as Harry rode his arse to the end.
*
Once they'd all caught their breath, Teddy sighed sleepily, "Need to rest now."
Harry nudged him. "But you're the young one. Sirius and I are both…" Harry paused. "You haven't aged," he said to Sirius. "When you…" His voice dried up in his throat.
"When I died, I was thirty-seven."
"I'm thirty-seven now," Harry said, somewhat stunned.
"Weird, isn't it?" Sirius said, smirking. "But after Azkaban, I looked a good ten years older than I was. So," he shrugged, "I still do."
"We're bloody legal now, aren't we?" Harry laughed.
Sirius kissed his forehead – like he used to.
Teddy wormed down under the covers.
"Are you all right?" Harry asked, brushing Teddy's hair back and observing that he was indeed pale.
Teddy nodded. "Explain later. M'fine. Sleep."
"Okay, love," Harry said, frowning a little.
Teddy pried open his eyes and smiled at him. "Don't worry. Be with Sirius." Then he snuggled beneath the covers once more and appeared to drop straight away into a deep sleep.
Harry turned to Sirius and whispered, "Would you like a drink?"
"That would be divine." Sirius winked, and it sent the same shivers skating along Harry's skin that it always had.
They dressed and Harry lowered the lights in the bedroom so that Teddy could sleep. He left the door cracked and then went for this oldest unopened bottle of Ogden's while Sirius sat on the sofa and waited.
Sirius was sitting on Harry's sofa twenty-one years after his death. Harry's heart skipped a few beats while he poured.
He handed Sirius his whiskey and then sat opposite him and snapped a fire going in the hearth. They sipped, looking at each other.
"Hi, Sirius," Harry said, suffused with warmth.
"Hi, Harry," Sirius replied, answering Harry's smile with his own.
They both just stared at one another for a long moment.
Sirius spoke first. "He's an Unspeakable – isn't he?"
Harry nodded. He couldn't help the proud little smile.
"So young, too."
"Twenty. He went straight to the Ministry after school. He's the best they've got. Doesn’t tell me bollocks, though. Isn't supposed to. Crazy, right? I mean, I'm the Boy Who Lived. I'm the bloody Chosen One." He laughed at the absurdity.
"And you were almost Minster of Magic." Sirius shook his head bemusedly.
"How do you know that?"
Sirius shrugged. "Information is not linear or obvious in my sphere. I've kept my eye on you, though, Harry."
Harry felt his whole body warming to the liquor, to Sirius' proximity, to his words, the whole barmy situation. "You have?"
"In a manner of speaking. I touch in with your parents, too."
Harry sat up straighter.
Sirius dashed his hopes. "They can't come here. They're…occupied in the ethers, I guess you could say. But I report on you diligently. We all witnessed your handfasting with the lad." He winked.
"You did?" Harry's voice was almost all breath. His drink was forgotten.
"He's lovely," Sirius said. "You're really beautiful together."
Harry smiled. "I know. Teddy's my beating heart, Sirius. He's… There really aren't words for him." A knot of sadness formed in his chest. "I thought, though…" He looked down at his hands. "I thought that I would get over you." Harry swallowed against the lump that had gotten worse rather than better. He couldn't meet Sirius' steady gaze. "I didn't." The fire cracked behind the grate. When he finally looked up, he saw that Sirius was watching him, just listening. "Are you over me?"
"Would I be here if I was?"
"Maybe. Maybe that's just who you are. You come when called."
"Woof," Sirius deadpanned.
"You know what I mean." The pain of being lured to the Department of Ministries still plagued him. The knowledge that if he'd done his duty and practiced Occlumency with the man who he now knew to be the greatest hero of all-- If he hadn't been so rash and young and stupid.
"I am not, nor will I ever be, over you," Sirius said quietly.
Harry swallowed against the rise of emotion. "What are you now? If you don't mind me asking."
"Ask the Unspeakable," Sirius said wryly. "I feel the same as I did when I was alive. But I also know I won't be staying. I know that when I'm not coalesced into this body, I'm also not solely this personality either. I'm both more and less out there. I can focus into the reality of 'Sirius Black', but that's mostly when I want to check in on you. Otherwise I'm…" He shrugged. "More and less," he said again, shaking his head. Then he downed his firewhiskey. "Merlin, that's good. Not as good as sex, but still quite charming."
While Sirius had spoken, Harry's eyes had filled with irrational tears. He set his own drink to the side. "Sirius," he said. "I don’t want to be men. I don't want to be two men sitting here talking. I can't. Not with so little time."
"What does my boy need?" Sirius asked, his voice turning soft, willing to give and be anything.
Harry moved over onto the sofa with him and curled up against Sirius' side, trembling. "I want to be your boy," he whispered. "I want to be what we were." One tear fell down his face. Sirius wrapped his arms around him, and Harry buried his face against his chest. "I want you to hold me and tell me it's going to be all right, Sirius."
Sirius dropped his mouth into Harry's wild hair. "It's going to be all right."
*
Sirius led Harry back to the bed, and Harry let Sirius undress him again. When he was naked, he crawled in next to his sleeping husband and lay down on his back, waiting.
Sirius stripped, and Harry watched, drinking him in – his marred skin, the dark pubic hair around his heavy cock, everything. Sirius crawled up over him. Harry felt scared and safe and excited, just as he always used to feel. He felt that knot of sadness loosen and diffuse through his body like a dim magic, threading old agonies through his blood, filling him with memories and yearnings and the horrible knowledge of the finite nature of things.
"Fuck me," he whispered to Sirius. He was trembling so badly.
Sirius lifted Harry's legs over his shoulders, bending him in half, making him feel small and vulnerable once again. Sirius snuck a hand down between them and pressed a finger into Harry, whispering him slippery at the same time. Harry gasped as Sirius worked him open, added a second finger, told Harry how perfect he still was, added a third.
"I love you," Harry told him. "I'll always love you."
"That's because I bonded to you when we made love once," Sirius confessed with a sad little smile even as, over and over again, he filled Harry's arse with his fingers. At Harry's look, he nodded. "I didn't mean to. It was an accident. I'm sorry, my love."
"Sirius…" The fingers moving in him made him ache and need more. Harry pushed against the headboard for leverage.
"I adore you," Sirius told him. "I always have. That will never end." He changed the angle of his hand and a slow refulgent burn tided over Harry's whole body.
"Oh my God," Harry breathed. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He was bonded to Sirius. He was handfasted to Teddy. No human heart should be able to hold that much love. Harry reached out for his lover, and Teddy, maybe half awake, turned toward him in the bed and laid his head in Harry's outstretched hand with a little mewl of contentment.
"MmmHarry…" He opened his eyes. He blinked. "Oh I want to see this," he breathed, stretching luxuriously.
Harry stroked his indigo hair and then looked back up into Sirius' eyes. Sirius nodded, not needing his words, and he withdrew his fingers carefully, replacing them with his sturdy cock. He braced himself – and pushed.
Harry opened his mouth to say something, anything, but he couldn't. He could only pant and try not to scream. Sirius pressed deeper and deeper into him. Harry balled his hand into a fist in Teddy's hair.
Sirius' knees slipped, and he jostled them both back into position as he finally sheathed himself completely, groaning over Harry.
"Sirius, please," Harry whispered. "Not slow. Not easy. Do it hard. I need it hard. Please."
Sirius smiled wolfishly down at him. "That's my Harry," he said, already losing his breath, already beginning to thrust, slamming into him, making Harry have to let go of Teddy to brace both arms over his head.
"Make me—" Harry said. "Make me remember, Sirius."
Sirius growled low in his throat and whipped his hips, going at him as though he meant to hurt him. Harry wanted it to hurt. He wanted more than he could ever have.
And then Harry felt Teddy's hand very deliberately settling over his heart. He was kneeling beside them now, and he had his other hand on Sirius' rippling back, and something happened. Something warm and tingling – something that unbraided the grief and let it flow out of him – something that filled Harry with unspeakable well-being and trust.
"What are you--?" he tried, but then the orgasm hit him, and all he could do was arch under Sirius, shaking, as he realized that it was happening for him, too, and Sirius was calling his name and coming, filling him with it, rocking over him, his face this beautiful rictus of pleasure.
And Teddy. When Harry turned his head to see what he was doing, he saw Teddy there, his eyes closed, calm, a picture of bliss, touching them both, his hair like white gold, his whole body glowing and pulsing.
"Jesus," Harry whispered.
And then the light around him went dim, and his hands fell away, and Teddy crumpled to the bed in a heap. Sirius pulled out of Harry carefully but quickly and they both turned to Teddy. "Teddy? My love, are you all right?"
Teddy swallowed. He nodded vaguely. "M'okay," he whispered. "Think I…took a couple hours…off this whole thing, though, sorry."
"Wait, Teddy, you're doing all this?"
He nodded.
"You didn’t just bring him. You're keeping him here?"
"Mostly…me. Also…artifact. Can't say…more. S'Unspeakable."
"Teddy, goddamnit, you're hurting yourself to do this!" Harry shouted at him and then softened his voice with effort, stroking his husband's hair. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."
"Not hurt," he amended, still with his eyes closed. "Effort. Extraordinary effort. Difficult magic. But not hurt, Harry."
Harry looked at Sirius. "Did he explain it to you then?"
"The broad strokes," Sirius admitted. "Can I help it if he's as reckless as I am? Was. Am."
Harry turned back to Teddy. "Are you sure you're not harming yourself by doing this?"
"I am…a better wizard…than you ever were…Harry Potter."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Oh, great. Yes, let's make it a competition, shall we? Teddy, you have nothing to prove to me. I know how bloody amazing you are."
"Taught him everything he knows?" Sirius couldn't seem to help but add cheekily, his hand soothing up and down Teddy's shin.
Harry gave his godfather a little shove.
Teddy went on. "Not about…proof." He finally opened his eyes. "About…love."
Harry sighed.
"Can't argue with that," Sirius said, laying his other hand on Harry's back. Harry shivered. He could still feel Sirius' cock, the friction of its slide inside him. He was once again sticky with Sirius' come, which was rather marvelous.
But he couldn't take his eyes off Teddy. His Teddy. Who'd done this for Harry's love, for Sirius', and because he himself loved beyond all reason. Harry bent down and kissed Teddy's temple. "I love you so bloody much," he whispered to him.
"Mmm me, too. Sleep s'more."
"Merlin, Teddy, you're incredible," Harry told him. "Please don't hurt yourself. Promise me that."
"'Kay. Promise. Shower sex…morning…" he got out, and then he was snoring.
Harry laughed softly, stroking his hair once more. Then he turned to Sirius who opened his arms for him. Harry moved into them, pressed his face into the side of Sirius' neck where he always managed to smell like spruce and lavender, and silently, gratefully, Harry just breathed.
*
Of all the things they could've then spent the night doing, they played cards. Sirius had once taught him how to play, and Harry had hardly played since. He'd considered trying to fuck as much as possible – and that would have absolutely been a worthwhile way to use their time, but there were two things wrong with it, and one was that Harry just couldn't conceive of making love to another man over and over again when his husband was passed out exhausted in the next room. It wasn't that he didn't love Sirius almost as fiercely as Teddy. It was just that he couldn't divide his feelings so freely, and a part of him, of his heart, lay in that bed dead asleep and murmuring adorable nonsense things about pygmy puffs in his slumber.
The other reason was whatever Teddy had done while Sirius had been inside of him. Harry couldn't exactly name what had gone on, but he did know that he would never forget it – would never ever forget one single touch of Sirius' hands, one flash of lust in his eyes, one thrust of his cock. None of it. Teddy, somehow, had made that permanent for him. Harry no longer felt desperate to have Sirius again. He felt sure they'd fuck again before the time was up. He wanted to suck Sirius off for one thing, and he hadn't gotten to do that yet. But as much as he looked forward to it, it wasn't this profound and terrible stinging sense of lost time.
It just was. It was a heady, tension-filled wait. And it was lovely.
Harry'd also thought about talking deep into the night, asking everything he could about what the afterlife was like for Sirius, how his parents were, if they were 'more and less', too. He wanted to ask about Dumbledore, about Remus and Tonks – wanted to share that with Teddy if he could. And Harry wanted to ask about Severus Snape.
But every time he tried, something stopped him. Something kept him quiet, kept him from talking about the great mysteries of the universe and magic and love and loss. He simply wanted to hear Sirius laugh. He wanted those years of casual touches and intimate moments stolen from him. And he didn't need them all tonight. He just needed a few hours. Gin rummy and hot tea and Sirius trying to cheat at cards while he rubbed his foot along Harry's calf under the table.
"Plonker, I saw that."
"Saw what?"
"God, even your innocent face is utterly debauched, Sirius."
"I'll show you debauched."
They'd ended the game rolling around laughing on the kitchen floor, knocking the salt shaker off the table in the process.
When they went back to bed, dawn was barely showing through the gaps in the drapes.
"Can't stay awake," Harry complained.
"Let me hold you while you sleep," Sirius offered.
And then he'd done just that – Harry curled around a still-sleeping Teddy and Sirius curled around him.
*
Harry had enlarged the shower first thing the next morning. And while he cooked up some breakfast, he could still sort of taste Sirius' come. He could still taste Teddy's, too. And his knees still hurt from all that time on the wet tile going between them. And he was smiling a little.
Teddy started the coffee and gave him a sweet kiss on his shoulder as he passed to the cupboard for mugs.
Sirius was at the table, reading the paper. "Still printing utter horseshit, I see."
"Yeah," Harry and Teddy said simultaneously in the exact same bemused tone.
They ate together. Conversation was surprisingly easy. And then, because Teddy's strength seemed to have returned, they fucked right there in the kitchen after they ate. The remains of breakfast got wanded into the sink (a little too forcefully, because Harry and Teddy tried to both do it at the same time) and then Harry bent Teddy over the table, ripped his trousers down, and entered him. He draped himself over Teddy's back and just languidly rolled his hips, his hands over Teddy's gripping the table edge. Until Sirius plowed into him from behind, and they had to employ three charms just to keep the neighbors from hearing and to keep the kitchen table from ending up in the middle of the living room they went at it so hard.
And afterwards, Teddy once more had to go lie down. Harry followed him in. "I'm worried about you."
"You think I'm…lying to you?"
"I think maybe you don't know how much this might be harming you. Super wizard though you are," he added only half (maybe less) joking.
"It's difficult. But nothing I can't…handle once a year or so."
Harry just stared at him. "This can happen again?"
"If you'll let me, you over-protective git."
Harry snogged him silent then. He doubted such a feeling of happiness had ever entered his heart so suddenly in his life. As he kissed his husband, one thin tear slid down his cheek and met their lips.
Teddy caught his breath from the kiss and then told him, "Backlash…a week maybe, but…"
"Teddy—"
"No, Harry. It's so worth it. So worth it."
Harry stroked his face.
"Maybe an hour more," Teddy warned him. "Go be with him."
"I want to be here with you, too."
Teddy shook his head. "Gotta sleep. Be with Sirius. Trust me, Harry."
"I do." Harry pulled the covers up over him and stepped quietly out of the bedroom.
Sirius was waiting for him on the sofa again. Without a word, Harry folded himself into Sirius' side and his godfather's arms came around him. He listened to Sirius' heart beating for five of the shortest minutes of his life.
"Teddy said you can come back."
Sirius' arms tightened around him. "Every so often."
"Yeah."
"Harry, I need to tell you something."
Harry's heart lurched in fear. "What."
"Oh no, nothing bad. It's quite wonderful really. I just…I wasn't sure if I should tell you before, but I think I have to now, before the time comes and it's another year with you not knowing."
"Sirius, bloody what?" Harry groused, raising his head from his chest.
Sirius took a deep breath. "That boy is my soul family."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, we're part of the very same stuff, Harry, he and I. He's a part of the bond. I can feel it."
"Are you saying he's you?" Harry felt impossibly, wildly excited by the idea.
"Not exactly. That would diminish who Teddy is – how he's himself. But I suppose in a manner of speaking, we share a soul. I'd love to take credit for sending him to you – for extracting some small piece of myself and giving it to him and then giving him to you, but it wasn't at all that intentional. Rather like the bonding. I think it just is. You know?"
"Yeah," Harry answered, bewildered and content both. Merlin, he'd chosen the same soul twice! He almost wanted to laugh with the perfect, ridiculous symmetry of it. "Yeah," he said again, laying his head on Sirius' chest once more, and they simply breathed together for a long time. When Harry spoke again, he was surprised at the clog of tears in his voice. "What will happen?"
"I've been thinking about that. I think I should leave through the door." He kissed the top of Harry's head. "I don't think it should be like before."
Harry knew he was thinking about the Veil – how he didn't want to just vanish, just fade away in front of Harry's eyes.
"If I go through the door, it'll be more like it truly is." He leaned back and sought Harry's gaze. Harry lifted his chin and looked at him. "It's just one visit over – and one not yet begun."
Harry wrapped his hand around his godfather's neck and pressed his lips to Sirius'. He parted his lips to feel Sirius' breath. His living breath…
Then he nodded. "It's time, isn't it?"
"I think so."
"I want to get Teddy."
"Okay."
"But first."
"Yes."
Harry crawled on top of him, straddled him, and he kissed him rough and wet. He kissed him deep. He stifled the tears that wanted to come, and he just kissed Sirius until they were both breathless, until he felt faint. And then he kissed him some more.
Harry knew it would hurt too much to linger, so when he could, he broke it off and stood, straightening his clothes and clearing his throat. "I'll be right back." He left the room, hearing Sirius stand up, getting ready to go.
To go.
And even though his mind knew the difference, his heart still ached as he jostled Teddy's shoulder and whispered, "Love. Love, wake up."
"Mmm?"
"He's going to go now. Do you want to say good-bye?"
"Mm-hm." Teddy threw back the cover and then sat, scrubbing at his eyes. Harry helped him stand and wrapped his arm around his husband to help him walk. He was very weak.
They emerged into the living room, Sirius already standing in front of the door. Harry's whole body rejected the idea of his leaving. His throat closed horribly. He felt fifteen years old again. But he had his arm around his young husband. He'd defeated Voldemort decades ago. He was not that boy, and he couldn't and no longer wanted to go back to being that boy. Not for more than a few stolen hours in the arms of Sirius Black.
Harry, the man, walked forward until they were close enough for Teddy to be transferred into Sirius' embrace. Sirius held him for a long, quiet moment.
Pieces of the same soul. Harry couldn't help but smile at the two of them, shades of the same rebellious heart.
Then Teddy moved back. He said it as easy as anything. "I love you."
"I love you, too, angel," Sirius answered. "You are so good for him. Do you know that?"
Teddy wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and leaned his head on his shoulder. "Mm hmm." He smelled like sex and coffee. His hair was mousy brown from exhaustion, and he was still extraordinarily beautiful.
"Harry," Sirius said, touching his cheek.
Harry didn't want to hug him. He didn't think he'd be able to let go. His arm tightened around Teddy. He leaned his head into Sirius' hand and closed his eyes for that moment. There was nothing more to say. Except his name, one more time, "Sirius."
And then the first love of his life turned, opened the door, and with one last winking glance back at them, called, "See you later," and then left.
Teddy turned in Harry's arms, and they held each other, standing in the space he'd left empty, standing in the space already full.
