"After Equus", Gary/Daniel RPS, NC-17
Feb. 21st, 2012 10:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
traintracksTitle: After Equus
Author:traintracks
Pairing: Gary Oldman/Daniel Radcliffe
Rating: NC-17
Summary: They go out to dinner after opening night of "Equus".
Words: 3,580
Warnings/Enticements: RPS, oral sex, frotting, anal sex, rimming, UST.
He sees him through crowds of people, those wanting autographs, stage hands, people from the audience who followed the throng and were probably hoping to catch a glimpse of Harry Potter’s package close up.
But Daniel is dressed. Gary watches him sign twelve autographs, himself leaning against a dirty wall. The walls backstage at theatres are always dirty, he thinks. He watches Daniel, the effervescent smile that is still so very real.
Daniel looks up from a pre-teen girl who has now seen too much of him but whose mother obviously brought her here relying on the young girl’s Potter obsession and eager to get a look herself.
Gary wonders how many people were here to see him act, to see a great play, and how many were just glorified voyeurs.
Daniel sees him, beams, and lifts his arm over the heads of his throng and waves. People look around to see who Daniel Radcliffe is waving at, but Gary is far enough away that no one actually recognizes him. He smiles and waves back. Then he turns to go wait in his car.
*
The engine has been running for ten minutes, and he’s had the heater on. It’s a chilly night, and the defogger is working its hardest.
There’s a quick knock on the passenger side window. Gary unlocks the door, and Daniel hurries to close himself inside, out of breath from the cold. “Temperature’s dropping fast,” he says. His cheeks are bright pink. “God, I’m starving!” He blows on his hands, leans across the space to peck Gary’s cheek, then sits back. “It’s bloody good to see you – where are we going?”
Gary puts the car in reverse, leverages with his arm around the back of Daniel’s seat to back out, shifts back into drive. He winks at him. “Somewhere with food sound all right?”
“Sounds brilliant.”
They share a smile, and Gary speeds toward Outer London.
*
He takes him to an out-of-the way Italian place near his flat. Gary doesn’t think about why he chooses this restaurant other than that they have amazing cannoli. It’s small, it’s not full of celebrity, they can talk in peace.
Daniel’s been telling him about the opening night mishaps: the boom that was smoking in the second wing, the spotlight that didn’t hit him until he’d said three lines.
“At least you didn’t have to worry overly much about a wardrobe malfunction,” Gary says, parking the car on a side street.
Daniel ducks his head a little at that, but he manages a laugh. “Quite,” he says.
Gary takes a deep breath. He pats Daniel on the leg. He’s missed touching him since his scenes wrapped. “Come on. You’re going to love their pasta.”
It’s very cold, and Daniel only has a jacket on him. Gary doesn’t think, he just wraps his arm around Daniel’s shoulders and together they half-run for the door as the skies open up in a sheet of freezing rain. His hand squeezes down on Daniel’s thin shoulder, his smaller body tucking into Gary’s side. Gary flashes on the boy’s nakedness, the firm flex of his seventeen year-old ass. The rain is very cold, and Daniel’s body is snug and warm at his ribs. Gary is the envy of many a voyeur tonight, he thinks.
They reach the tattered awning and both breathe sighs of relief, though probably not for the same reasons. Gary holds the door for him, feeling both protective and sort of lecherous.
They wait to be seated, Daniel’s hands thrust into his jacket pockets. He’s shivering slightly. Gary stands close to him, as though the host’s reservation stand emits some kind of heat they can huddle by. Gary can smell Daniel’s aftershave, the mild remnant of wet pine, and the hint of his sweat. He has an almost overwhelming urge to take him in his arms.
“What are you looking at?” Daniel asks with an amused quirk to his lips.
“It’s just been a while, Danny.”
The boy seems to warm under the nickname. “It’s only been a couple of months,” Daniel chides gently. “But I’ve missed you, too. Shooting wasn’t the same afterwards.”
After they killed Sirius, he means. Gary remembers palling around on set, all those hours between takes, Danny always there, the two of them practically inseparable.
He remembers inappropriate feelings. Feelings that seem to be returning. He can’t quite believe he agreed to see this show, actually. Maybe he overestimated the distance he thought he’d achieved after their last scene together, when he’d hugged Daniel close in his dressing room, when he’d kissed the corner of Danny’s mouth fleetingly, as though that’s a thing that friends do.
Danny had beamed, and Gary had known. He’d known he’d made a colossal mistake. He recognized how his heart felt, his body, how clouded his mind had become. He’d gotten the distance at just the right time.
Yet here he is. The host is taking them to a table near the back. He knows who Gary is. Gary is sure he recognizes Harry Potter. Gary is here, supporting his young friend’s career. Danny invited him, had sounded as though his presence would be nothing short of essential, and so of course Gary had come.
Daniel is a fine actor. Really very good. Gary must admit, after seeing the play tonight, that he’s going to be great even. Gary had been moved, had been scared by this character, his obsessive love. Daniel had reeled him in perfectly.
And then he’d taken off his clothes. And it had been good that the theatre was dark. Gary had sat with his hand over his mouth the whole time, completely enchanted, guiltily trying to memorize the planes of Daniel’s body. He’d taken in its effortless movement, the skin over muscle and bone, the youthful strain of him.
He’d wanted to close his eyes when Danny had turned and there was his soft penis, his lovely little dick, dangling innocently, dangerously, in that thatch of dark, dark hair. Gary hadn’t closed his eyes, and if he did so now, that body is what he would see.
Gary holds the chair for Daniel. He doesn’t mean it to be so…chivalrous. He doesn’t mean for this to be a date, even though it’s been so long since he’s dated anyone. Six years since his marriage died and she took the kids. He’s seen this or that actress. He’s had enough rolls in the hay to know he hasn’t yet lost his touch. But he’s lost something else. He lost it around the time Order started filming and all of a sudden their scenes together felt too good, the hugs too tight and just a hair too long.
Gary knows he played Sirius all wrong. He knows there’s too much chemistry there. He dreads July and having to see it up there huge and obvious.
He sits across from Daniel. He orders some wine and an appetizer they can eat with their fingers. Gary is very aware that Daniel could not order this wine himself. It must be Gary – the adult.
“You look good,” Daniel says. His eyes are actually on the menu. But Gary sees his throat move as he swallows.
“You, too,” he says. Too good. So very, very good. Then, “You were wonderful, you know.”
“Really?” Daniel asks, leaning forward. “You’re not just saying that.”
“No. You were excellent. I forgot where I was.”
Daniel smiles. He talks about reviews, about Broadway, about the shit weather in London this time of year.
The wine comes. They toast. “To the critics grilling my bare bum,” Daniel says.
“Yet what a nice bum it is,” Gary cannot seem to help but say.
“You must have had bad seats.” Daniel drinks. He is blushing.
“You know very well I had splendid seats.” Gary drinks, too. “Were you nervous?”
He had meant in general, but Daniel mistakes him. “It’s maybe worse having your friends see it, I think. I mean, I knew you were out there.”
Gary wants to tell him that it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before, that it’s nothing between blokes. But he’d be lying. He’ll remember Daniel’s body always. He’ll suffer dreaming about those taut nipples under his thumbs, that supple cock growing in his mouth, that ass in his hands.
It’s been maybe three months since Gary last got laid. He can feel every day of them. His cock is a little bit hard. He drinks some more wine. He says, “You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Tell me honestly, Gary, okay. Do you think the nudity is at all gratuitous?” He’s very earnest. He cares deeply what Gary thinks. He always has.
“I thought it was…effective.” Quite effective. Gary had not been able to stand up at intermission. He’d made a show of reading the program.
“Good,” Daniel sighs.
The appetizers arrive. They each eat one, laughing at how miserably messy they are. Some dribbles down Daniel’s chin. “Holy shit, these are good,” he laughs.
Gary remembers that this kid is seventeen. It doesn’t help at all.
Daniel is smiling at him and dabbing his mouth with his napkin and asking how he’s been. What’s a good answer? Lonely? Horny? Old? “I’ve been all right,” he says. He tells him about film roles he’s been offered. About a vacation he wants to take in Greece.
“God, I’d love that,” Daniel says. Gary pictures taking him, bedding him, watching him swim naked, getting a blow job out in the sun while Daniel’s wet hair drips on his skin.
They eat their dinner. It’s very good. They finish the wine, get espressos to go with dessert. Gary is buzzing.
“I’ve really missed you,” Daniel confesses suddenly. Maybe it’s the late hour – the wine. He’s more serious. His breath is short.
Gary takes his hand on top of the table. He means it to be paternal and comforting. Instead, Daniel’s thumb drifts over the back of his hand, between his thumb and index finger, that highly sensitive place. He’s brushing it intentionally; Gary sees his lips are wet. Too much wine. Too much of his own stupidity. But he says, “Me, too, Danny.”
“Can we just pay the check?” Daniel asks, a certain pain in his eyes he’d managed to conceal until now.
“Are you sure that’s wise?” Gary holds out a hope that this isn’t what he thinks it is. He holds out a hope that it *is*.
“I’m sure it’s not,” Daniel says, finally meeting his eyes. And if Gary had entertained the thought that this was innocent, that thought dissolves as the waiter returns and Daniel rips his hand away.
Gary clears his throat. “We’ll take the check, actually.”
He looks at Daniel across the table. The air seems to ripple with the heat of what isn’t said.
*
His flat is five blocks away. The heater is going too hard in the car for them to talk. There’s nothing to say.
Gary’s hand shakes as he fits the key in the lock, opens the door, and lets them both inside. The flat is warm. Gary leaves the lights off. He closes the door and presses Daniel to it. His grip finds Daniel’s wrists, bringing them up, pinning them.
His breath bathes Daniel’s face, and Daniel blinks, inhaling. “Are you going to kiss me or what?”
“I’m thirty years older than you.”
“Twenty-eight.” Daniel moves against him, and Gary gets a hard-on. “And do you think I’m an idiot and simply haven’t noticed?”
Gary’s hands tighten on his wrists. He wants to kiss that breathy mouth so badly.
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you?”
“You’re seventeen. It can’t have been long.”
“Two years,” Daniel tells him. “Since I met you on set and I went home and rented every film you’ve ever made.”
Daniel has angled so that he’s bumping their clothed cocks together. Gary moans, half arousal and half devastation. “You’re just a boy,” Gary tries.
“Not for long,” Daniel counters. “Fucking kiss me, Gary.”
So he does. He holds him there fast and devours his mouth, too hungry to be gentle, and Daniel isn’t gentle back. Daniel moves on him while they kiss, frenzied and hot. Then Gary slides his hands down Daniel’s arms, his body, lifts him. Daniel’s legs wrap around him, and Gary carries him to the nearest surface – the kitchen counter – sets him down and rips off his jacket, his sweater, baring the boy’s skin only for himself.
He nips at Daniel’s nipples and works on his own pants, his fingers shaking. Daniel says, “Oh God,” and he’s clawing at Gary’s clothes, getting his shirt off. Gary gets his mouth back on the boy, and then Daniel is fishing his own cock out, and then they’re flush together, and Gary thrusts his hips, his face in Daniel’s neck, and Daniel is pre-coming badly. Gary holds his hips, and their cocks slide hard together, and Daniel is holding onto the cabinets, Gary’s shoulders, opening his legs for Gary to move between them, rocking him on the counter. A can of coffee falls over and rolls to the floor in a clatter. The glasses sing in the cupboard like they’re going to break.
They both come too fast, so fast, everything Gary had repressed spilling out, agonizing, the orgasm ripping him apart, and Daniel quakes against him, roping semen onto both their bellies, moaning Gary’s name.
This is not how he’d pictured it. Four minutes to get their clothes off just enough to find skin and frotting mindlessly in the kitchen. Gary shoves up against him one more time, groaning out the last of it. Then he’s looking in Danny’s sweet eyes, and Danny’s kissing him, opening Gary’s mouth, wrapping his arms around him.
Gary picks him up again, holding him close for warm, lovely moments, then setting him down on his feet. He breaks the kiss and whispers against lips that are too soft, “Too fast.”
Daniel draws back, his smile coy and innocent. He kisses Gary once more, then his lips take to his throat, teeth scraping, a bite here, then his clever tongue. Down his throat, across collar bone, down his chest, mouth closing on Gary’s nipple. He takes a lovely long time with Gary’s nipples. When is the last time anyone has done this to him? Then he’s down his belly, eyes glancing up to check, and Daniel is on his knees, and he’s pushing Gary back to lean against the counter. He’s holding Gary’s cock in his hand, and he’s starting to lick the slit.
“Jesus, Danny…” Gary breathes. He cards his fingers through the boy’s hair. The streetlamp’s light falls through the window and catches his pale body, sinuous back and shoulders, dark closed lashes, his mouth distending around Gary’s hardening cock.
Gary’s head drops back on his shoulders, his mouth coming open in a long sighing groan. Danny is blowing him.
He lets the kid move on him first, then he starts pulsing his hips – just a little. “If we were still working together, I should be fired,” Gary breathes.
Daniel laughs around his dick.
“Do you want me to stop?” Gary can barely speak now.
Daniel takes Gary’s hands and places them on his own head, cradling it. He blinks up at Gary and suckles. Gary moves his cock in Daniel’s mouth. He opens his own, unable to breathe for that wonderful moment. He comes, luridly groaning, watching it dribble down Danny’s chin, watching him attempt to swallow.
It is one of the finest and most shameful moments of his life.
Danny pulls off his cock, and his lips are swollen and lovely. Gary catches a glimpse of his cock, hard and ready and sticking out of his jeans. “Let’s get out of the damned kitchen,” Gary says.
*
But he doesn’t just take his hand and lead him there. Something about the shaft of light is perfect, and he needs to undress Danny in it. Gary pulls him up and then takes his pants down, helps him off with his shoes.
“Floor’s cold,” Danny says. “Leave my socks?”
It’s the most adorable thing Gary has ever heard or seen, so he does, indeed, leave Danny in his fluffy white socks.
He looks younger here than on that stage. He’s a different person.
Daniel undresses him next. Quiet hands down his stomach, shoving at his pants, feeling his ass surreptitiously. Gary smiles. Danny smiles back.
When they’re both naked except for Danny’s socks, Gary scoops him up again, legs around his waist. He carries him through the kitchen, into the master.
“Am I not allowed to walk in your house?” Daniel kids him.
“I can’t stop touching you,” Gary tells him in the dark bedroom. The sleet is hitting the roof hard.
Daniel slithers off of him and lies on the bed while Gary finds matches and lights a candle to see him by. When he turns back, Daniel is on his stomach, baring his now-famous bottom, his head pillowed on his arms.
Gary can’t get hard again so fast, but the yearning drives through his body anyway. He crawls up and kneels between Danny’s legs. He massages his buttocks, taking his time. Danny sighs, “That’s so good, Gary….”
He rubs down the boy’s thighs, his calves, pushes his thumbs into the bottoms of his feet, and then moves all the way back up. He rubs his back and shoulders and neck. He goes back to his ass, squeezes. Daniel spreads his legs more. Gary moves down and sinks his face between the fantastic globes and eats Danny’s little asshole.
Butter and wine and come! The boy tastes beautiful. He starts to whine when Gary pulls the hole open with his thumbs and pokes his tongue inside. He eats him for a long while – until he’s hard again. He sits up to grab a condom and lube from the drawer. Gary is trembling. It’s been so long since he’s trembled during sex.
Without a word, Daniel leverages up onto his knees, his head down.
“Shit…” Gary breathes. His cock jerks up hard. He rolls the condom on and lubes it generously. He slicks a finger and slides it home. Daniel cries out. Gary finger-fucks him for as long as he can stand, until Daniel’s thighs are shaking and he’s begging for Gary’s cock.
Gary positions himself to mount him, lines up. He pushes in slowly, Danny’s ass sucking him in tighter and tighter. “Oh God, Gary. Oh fuck.” Daniel is gripping one of the pillows. The candle light illuminates the sweat rolling off his back.
Gary takes his hips and starts to fuck him easy. Smooth, deft strokes, watching the boy’s back. Gary touches his ass, rubs it some more, spreads it open to change the shape of the hole, to make Danny whimper.
He speeds up, his thighs hardly able to handle it. Danny reaches between his own legs and starts to pull. His eyes are rolled shut. It looks and feels like rapture. Gary’s balls are drawing up. He pistons the shivering hole until it’s hot around him, until he’s there, and he throws his head back and comes, shouting, riding Danny’s ass through to the end.
When the last is milked out of him, he looks down at Danny’s hand flying on his red cock. He pulls out with a hiss. He flips Danny over carefully, aware that his legs are going to be practically seized up, his back tight.
Gary shoos the hand off Danny’s cock and he lowers his mouth onto it. He sucks him down to the root, his face buried in the fragrant black pubes, and Danny comes on a string of curses, thrashing so that Gary has to hold him down to drink it all.
He swallows and he cleans Danny’s dick with his mouth. He adores the boy’s dick inside his mouth. He hums, licking and sucking it. Danny groans his name.
He sits up to strip the condom off and throw it in the trash. He collapses next to Daniel, and the boy automatically curls into his side. Gary holds him there. He wants to ask what this means, even though he’s the one who should decide that. He needs to ask the hard questions. But he can’t. Danny’s leg is thrown between his own, his breathing slowing, and that is all that really matters.
“Can I stay here tonight?” Daniel asks.
“Of course,” Gary says.
“I can feel you wanting to talk about this,” Daniel says, his lips mashed against Gary’s shoulder. “Can that wait for morning coffee?”
Gary strokes his hand down the boy’s lovely body, one that everybody in London (and soon the Internet) will have soon seen but that only he has touched – fucked -- held. “Were you…a…?” Gary starts.
Daniel stops him. “Tomorrow, Gary. I’m bloody bushed.”
Gary sighs, his hand stopping on Daniel’s smooth hip.
“I love you,” Daniel says easily.
It practically stops Gary’s heart. But he replies with the truth, “I love you, too, Danny boy.”
Daniel snuggles even closer, kissing Gary’s collar bone once more and then seeming to fall instantly asleep.
Gary lies awake touching him for a while longer. The clouds have rolled back, the sleet stopped; the moon slides down the wall. Sometime after too many thoughts and too many beautiful and terrifying feelings, Gary falls asleep in his boy’s arms.
Author:
traintracksPairing: Gary Oldman/Daniel Radcliffe
Rating: NC-17
Summary: They go out to dinner after opening night of "Equus".
Words: 3,580
Warnings/Enticements: RPS, oral sex, frotting, anal sex, rimming, UST.
He sees him through crowds of people, those wanting autographs, stage hands, people from the audience who followed the throng and were probably hoping to catch a glimpse of Harry Potter’s package close up.
But Daniel is dressed. Gary watches him sign twelve autographs, himself leaning against a dirty wall. The walls backstage at theatres are always dirty, he thinks. He watches Daniel, the effervescent smile that is still so very real.
Daniel looks up from a pre-teen girl who has now seen too much of him but whose mother obviously brought her here relying on the young girl’s Potter obsession and eager to get a look herself.
Gary wonders how many people were here to see him act, to see a great play, and how many were just glorified voyeurs.
Daniel sees him, beams, and lifts his arm over the heads of his throng and waves. People look around to see who Daniel Radcliffe is waving at, but Gary is far enough away that no one actually recognizes him. He smiles and waves back. Then he turns to go wait in his car.
*
The engine has been running for ten minutes, and he’s had the heater on. It’s a chilly night, and the defogger is working its hardest.
There’s a quick knock on the passenger side window. Gary unlocks the door, and Daniel hurries to close himself inside, out of breath from the cold. “Temperature’s dropping fast,” he says. His cheeks are bright pink. “God, I’m starving!” He blows on his hands, leans across the space to peck Gary’s cheek, then sits back. “It’s bloody good to see you – where are we going?”
Gary puts the car in reverse, leverages with his arm around the back of Daniel’s seat to back out, shifts back into drive. He winks at him. “Somewhere with food sound all right?”
“Sounds brilliant.”
They share a smile, and Gary speeds toward Outer London.
*
He takes him to an out-of-the way Italian place near his flat. Gary doesn’t think about why he chooses this restaurant other than that they have amazing cannoli. It’s small, it’s not full of celebrity, they can talk in peace.
Daniel’s been telling him about the opening night mishaps: the boom that was smoking in the second wing, the spotlight that didn’t hit him until he’d said three lines.
“At least you didn’t have to worry overly much about a wardrobe malfunction,” Gary says, parking the car on a side street.
Daniel ducks his head a little at that, but he manages a laugh. “Quite,” he says.
Gary takes a deep breath. He pats Daniel on the leg. He’s missed touching him since his scenes wrapped. “Come on. You’re going to love their pasta.”
It’s very cold, and Daniel only has a jacket on him. Gary doesn’t think, he just wraps his arm around Daniel’s shoulders and together they half-run for the door as the skies open up in a sheet of freezing rain. His hand squeezes down on Daniel’s thin shoulder, his smaller body tucking into Gary’s side. Gary flashes on the boy’s nakedness, the firm flex of his seventeen year-old ass. The rain is very cold, and Daniel’s body is snug and warm at his ribs. Gary is the envy of many a voyeur tonight, he thinks.
They reach the tattered awning and both breathe sighs of relief, though probably not for the same reasons. Gary holds the door for him, feeling both protective and sort of lecherous.
They wait to be seated, Daniel’s hands thrust into his jacket pockets. He’s shivering slightly. Gary stands close to him, as though the host’s reservation stand emits some kind of heat they can huddle by. Gary can smell Daniel’s aftershave, the mild remnant of wet pine, and the hint of his sweat. He has an almost overwhelming urge to take him in his arms.
“What are you looking at?” Daniel asks with an amused quirk to his lips.
“It’s just been a while, Danny.”
The boy seems to warm under the nickname. “It’s only been a couple of months,” Daniel chides gently. “But I’ve missed you, too. Shooting wasn’t the same afterwards.”
After they killed Sirius, he means. Gary remembers palling around on set, all those hours between takes, Danny always there, the two of them practically inseparable.
He remembers inappropriate feelings. Feelings that seem to be returning. He can’t quite believe he agreed to see this show, actually. Maybe he overestimated the distance he thought he’d achieved after their last scene together, when he’d hugged Daniel close in his dressing room, when he’d kissed the corner of Danny’s mouth fleetingly, as though that’s a thing that friends do.
Danny had beamed, and Gary had known. He’d known he’d made a colossal mistake. He recognized how his heart felt, his body, how clouded his mind had become. He’d gotten the distance at just the right time.
Yet here he is. The host is taking them to a table near the back. He knows who Gary is. Gary is sure he recognizes Harry Potter. Gary is here, supporting his young friend’s career. Danny invited him, had sounded as though his presence would be nothing short of essential, and so of course Gary had come.
Daniel is a fine actor. Really very good. Gary must admit, after seeing the play tonight, that he’s going to be great even. Gary had been moved, had been scared by this character, his obsessive love. Daniel had reeled him in perfectly.
And then he’d taken off his clothes. And it had been good that the theatre was dark. Gary had sat with his hand over his mouth the whole time, completely enchanted, guiltily trying to memorize the planes of Daniel’s body. He’d taken in its effortless movement, the skin over muscle and bone, the youthful strain of him.
He’d wanted to close his eyes when Danny had turned and there was his soft penis, his lovely little dick, dangling innocently, dangerously, in that thatch of dark, dark hair. Gary hadn’t closed his eyes, and if he did so now, that body is what he would see.
Gary holds the chair for Daniel. He doesn’t mean it to be so…chivalrous. He doesn’t mean for this to be a date, even though it’s been so long since he’s dated anyone. Six years since his marriage died and she took the kids. He’s seen this or that actress. He’s had enough rolls in the hay to know he hasn’t yet lost his touch. But he’s lost something else. He lost it around the time Order started filming and all of a sudden their scenes together felt too good, the hugs too tight and just a hair too long.
Gary knows he played Sirius all wrong. He knows there’s too much chemistry there. He dreads July and having to see it up there huge and obvious.
He sits across from Daniel. He orders some wine and an appetizer they can eat with their fingers. Gary is very aware that Daniel could not order this wine himself. It must be Gary – the adult.
“You look good,” Daniel says. His eyes are actually on the menu. But Gary sees his throat move as he swallows.
“You, too,” he says. Too good. So very, very good. Then, “You were wonderful, you know.”
“Really?” Daniel asks, leaning forward. “You’re not just saying that.”
“No. You were excellent. I forgot where I was.”
Daniel smiles. He talks about reviews, about Broadway, about the shit weather in London this time of year.
The wine comes. They toast. “To the critics grilling my bare bum,” Daniel says.
“Yet what a nice bum it is,” Gary cannot seem to help but say.
“You must have had bad seats.” Daniel drinks. He is blushing.
“You know very well I had splendid seats.” Gary drinks, too. “Were you nervous?”
He had meant in general, but Daniel mistakes him. “It’s maybe worse having your friends see it, I think. I mean, I knew you were out there.”
Gary wants to tell him that it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before, that it’s nothing between blokes. But he’d be lying. He’ll remember Daniel’s body always. He’ll suffer dreaming about those taut nipples under his thumbs, that supple cock growing in his mouth, that ass in his hands.
It’s been maybe three months since Gary last got laid. He can feel every day of them. His cock is a little bit hard. He drinks some more wine. He says, “You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Tell me honestly, Gary, okay. Do you think the nudity is at all gratuitous?” He’s very earnest. He cares deeply what Gary thinks. He always has.
“I thought it was…effective.” Quite effective. Gary had not been able to stand up at intermission. He’d made a show of reading the program.
“Good,” Daniel sighs.
The appetizers arrive. They each eat one, laughing at how miserably messy they are. Some dribbles down Daniel’s chin. “Holy shit, these are good,” he laughs.
Gary remembers that this kid is seventeen. It doesn’t help at all.
Daniel is smiling at him and dabbing his mouth with his napkin and asking how he’s been. What’s a good answer? Lonely? Horny? Old? “I’ve been all right,” he says. He tells him about film roles he’s been offered. About a vacation he wants to take in Greece.
“God, I’d love that,” Daniel says. Gary pictures taking him, bedding him, watching him swim naked, getting a blow job out in the sun while Daniel’s wet hair drips on his skin.
They eat their dinner. It’s very good. They finish the wine, get espressos to go with dessert. Gary is buzzing.
“I’ve really missed you,” Daniel confesses suddenly. Maybe it’s the late hour – the wine. He’s more serious. His breath is short.
Gary takes his hand on top of the table. He means it to be paternal and comforting. Instead, Daniel’s thumb drifts over the back of his hand, between his thumb and index finger, that highly sensitive place. He’s brushing it intentionally; Gary sees his lips are wet. Too much wine. Too much of his own stupidity. But he says, “Me, too, Danny.”
“Can we just pay the check?” Daniel asks, a certain pain in his eyes he’d managed to conceal until now.
“Are you sure that’s wise?” Gary holds out a hope that this isn’t what he thinks it is. He holds out a hope that it *is*.
“I’m sure it’s not,” Daniel says, finally meeting his eyes. And if Gary had entertained the thought that this was innocent, that thought dissolves as the waiter returns and Daniel rips his hand away.
Gary clears his throat. “We’ll take the check, actually.”
He looks at Daniel across the table. The air seems to ripple with the heat of what isn’t said.
*
His flat is five blocks away. The heater is going too hard in the car for them to talk. There’s nothing to say.
Gary’s hand shakes as he fits the key in the lock, opens the door, and lets them both inside. The flat is warm. Gary leaves the lights off. He closes the door and presses Daniel to it. His grip finds Daniel’s wrists, bringing them up, pinning them.
His breath bathes Daniel’s face, and Daniel blinks, inhaling. “Are you going to kiss me or what?”
“I’m thirty years older than you.”
“Twenty-eight.” Daniel moves against him, and Gary gets a hard-on. “And do you think I’m an idiot and simply haven’t noticed?”
Gary’s hands tighten on his wrists. He wants to kiss that breathy mouth so badly.
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you?”
“You’re seventeen. It can’t have been long.”
“Two years,” Daniel tells him. “Since I met you on set and I went home and rented every film you’ve ever made.”
Daniel has angled so that he’s bumping their clothed cocks together. Gary moans, half arousal and half devastation. “You’re just a boy,” Gary tries.
“Not for long,” Daniel counters. “Fucking kiss me, Gary.”
So he does. He holds him there fast and devours his mouth, too hungry to be gentle, and Daniel isn’t gentle back. Daniel moves on him while they kiss, frenzied and hot. Then Gary slides his hands down Daniel’s arms, his body, lifts him. Daniel’s legs wrap around him, and Gary carries him to the nearest surface – the kitchen counter – sets him down and rips off his jacket, his sweater, baring the boy’s skin only for himself.
He nips at Daniel’s nipples and works on his own pants, his fingers shaking. Daniel says, “Oh God,” and he’s clawing at Gary’s clothes, getting his shirt off. Gary gets his mouth back on the boy, and then Daniel is fishing his own cock out, and then they’re flush together, and Gary thrusts his hips, his face in Daniel’s neck, and Daniel is pre-coming badly. Gary holds his hips, and their cocks slide hard together, and Daniel is holding onto the cabinets, Gary’s shoulders, opening his legs for Gary to move between them, rocking him on the counter. A can of coffee falls over and rolls to the floor in a clatter. The glasses sing in the cupboard like they’re going to break.
They both come too fast, so fast, everything Gary had repressed spilling out, agonizing, the orgasm ripping him apart, and Daniel quakes against him, roping semen onto both their bellies, moaning Gary’s name.
This is not how he’d pictured it. Four minutes to get their clothes off just enough to find skin and frotting mindlessly in the kitchen. Gary shoves up against him one more time, groaning out the last of it. Then he’s looking in Danny’s sweet eyes, and Danny’s kissing him, opening Gary’s mouth, wrapping his arms around him.
Gary picks him up again, holding him close for warm, lovely moments, then setting him down on his feet. He breaks the kiss and whispers against lips that are too soft, “Too fast.”
Daniel draws back, his smile coy and innocent. He kisses Gary once more, then his lips take to his throat, teeth scraping, a bite here, then his clever tongue. Down his throat, across collar bone, down his chest, mouth closing on Gary’s nipple. He takes a lovely long time with Gary’s nipples. When is the last time anyone has done this to him? Then he’s down his belly, eyes glancing up to check, and Daniel is on his knees, and he’s pushing Gary back to lean against the counter. He’s holding Gary’s cock in his hand, and he’s starting to lick the slit.
“Jesus, Danny…” Gary breathes. He cards his fingers through the boy’s hair. The streetlamp’s light falls through the window and catches his pale body, sinuous back and shoulders, dark closed lashes, his mouth distending around Gary’s hardening cock.
Gary’s head drops back on his shoulders, his mouth coming open in a long sighing groan. Danny is blowing him.
He lets the kid move on him first, then he starts pulsing his hips – just a little. “If we were still working together, I should be fired,” Gary breathes.
Daniel laughs around his dick.
“Do you want me to stop?” Gary can barely speak now.
Daniel takes Gary’s hands and places them on his own head, cradling it. He blinks up at Gary and suckles. Gary moves his cock in Daniel’s mouth. He opens his own, unable to breathe for that wonderful moment. He comes, luridly groaning, watching it dribble down Danny’s chin, watching him attempt to swallow.
It is one of the finest and most shameful moments of his life.
Danny pulls off his cock, and his lips are swollen and lovely. Gary catches a glimpse of his cock, hard and ready and sticking out of his jeans. “Let’s get out of the damned kitchen,” Gary says.
*
But he doesn’t just take his hand and lead him there. Something about the shaft of light is perfect, and he needs to undress Danny in it. Gary pulls him up and then takes his pants down, helps him off with his shoes.
“Floor’s cold,” Danny says. “Leave my socks?”
It’s the most adorable thing Gary has ever heard or seen, so he does, indeed, leave Danny in his fluffy white socks.
He looks younger here than on that stage. He’s a different person.
Daniel undresses him next. Quiet hands down his stomach, shoving at his pants, feeling his ass surreptitiously. Gary smiles. Danny smiles back.
When they’re both naked except for Danny’s socks, Gary scoops him up again, legs around his waist. He carries him through the kitchen, into the master.
“Am I not allowed to walk in your house?” Daniel kids him.
“I can’t stop touching you,” Gary tells him in the dark bedroom. The sleet is hitting the roof hard.
Daniel slithers off of him and lies on the bed while Gary finds matches and lights a candle to see him by. When he turns back, Daniel is on his stomach, baring his now-famous bottom, his head pillowed on his arms.
Gary can’t get hard again so fast, but the yearning drives through his body anyway. He crawls up and kneels between Danny’s legs. He massages his buttocks, taking his time. Danny sighs, “That’s so good, Gary….”
He rubs down the boy’s thighs, his calves, pushes his thumbs into the bottoms of his feet, and then moves all the way back up. He rubs his back and shoulders and neck. He goes back to his ass, squeezes. Daniel spreads his legs more. Gary moves down and sinks his face between the fantastic globes and eats Danny’s little asshole.
Butter and wine and come! The boy tastes beautiful. He starts to whine when Gary pulls the hole open with his thumbs and pokes his tongue inside. He eats him for a long while – until he’s hard again. He sits up to grab a condom and lube from the drawer. Gary is trembling. It’s been so long since he’s trembled during sex.
Without a word, Daniel leverages up onto his knees, his head down.
“Shit…” Gary breathes. His cock jerks up hard. He rolls the condom on and lubes it generously. He slicks a finger and slides it home. Daniel cries out. Gary finger-fucks him for as long as he can stand, until Daniel’s thighs are shaking and he’s begging for Gary’s cock.
Gary positions himself to mount him, lines up. He pushes in slowly, Danny’s ass sucking him in tighter and tighter. “Oh God, Gary. Oh fuck.” Daniel is gripping one of the pillows. The candle light illuminates the sweat rolling off his back.
Gary takes his hips and starts to fuck him easy. Smooth, deft strokes, watching the boy’s back. Gary touches his ass, rubs it some more, spreads it open to change the shape of the hole, to make Danny whimper.
He speeds up, his thighs hardly able to handle it. Danny reaches between his own legs and starts to pull. His eyes are rolled shut. It looks and feels like rapture. Gary’s balls are drawing up. He pistons the shivering hole until it’s hot around him, until he’s there, and he throws his head back and comes, shouting, riding Danny’s ass through to the end.
When the last is milked out of him, he looks down at Danny’s hand flying on his red cock. He pulls out with a hiss. He flips Danny over carefully, aware that his legs are going to be practically seized up, his back tight.
Gary shoos the hand off Danny’s cock and he lowers his mouth onto it. He sucks him down to the root, his face buried in the fragrant black pubes, and Danny comes on a string of curses, thrashing so that Gary has to hold him down to drink it all.
He swallows and he cleans Danny’s dick with his mouth. He adores the boy’s dick inside his mouth. He hums, licking and sucking it. Danny groans his name.
He sits up to strip the condom off and throw it in the trash. He collapses next to Daniel, and the boy automatically curls into his side. Gary holds him there. He wants to ask what this means, even though he’s the one who should decide that. He needs to ask the hard questions. But he can’t. Danny’s leg is thrown between his own, his breathing slowing, and that is all that really matters.
“Can I stay here tonight?” Daniel asks.
“Of course,” Gary says.
“I can feel you wanting to talk about this,” Daniel says, his lips mashed against Gary’s shoulder. “Can that wait for morning coffee?”
Gary strokes his hand down the boy’s lovely body, one that everybody in London (and soon the Internet) will have soon seen but that only he has touched – fucked -- held. “Were you…a…?” Gary starts.
Daniel stops him. “Tomorrow, Gary. I’m bloody bushed.”
Gary sighs, his hand stopping on Daniel’s smooth hip.
“I love you,” Daniel says easily.
It practically stops Gary’s heart. But he replies with the truth, “I love you, too, Danny boy.”
Daniel snuggles even closer, kissing Gary’s collar bone once more and then seeming to fall instantly asleep.
Gary lies awake touching him for a while longer. The clouds have rolled back, the sleet stopped; the moon slides down the wall. Sometime after too many thoughts and too many beautiful and terrifying feelings, Gary falls asleep in his boy’s arms.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-04 03:43 pm (UTC)