snowflake, day 8 (all right, goddamn it!)

[traintracks]

Yes, I'm doing 8 before 7, because if I don't do 8 right now, I'll chicken the fuck out. I'm also changing my icon, so that if the only thing nice you have to say is "GREAT ICON!" you can say that and it'll be all good. ;-)

Day 8
In your own space, create a love meme for yourself. Let people tell you how amazing and awesome and loveable you really are.

*hides face and tries not to feel like an asshat*

Comments

[kedavranox.livejournal.com]

I totally almost did. I wonder why we're all so ashamed/afraid of praise.

[traintracks.livejournal.com]

Birds and I were sort of just talking about this and how sometimes that self-deprecatingness is culturally mandated, she said especially in England. I feel like here in America it's also a gender driven method of control. It's not okay for women to think highly of themselves or accept praise without putting all kinds of conditions on it. I felt bad after I wrote the asshat comment. Because what's bloody wrong with us all accepting praise from one another? Maybe it has to do with the regimented way Snowflake asks us to ASK for it. At any rate, it's probably a good thing to do. :-)

[kedavranox.livejournal.com]

I agree with all of this

[elrhiarhodan]

Just jumping in here...

When I was growing up, if I ever asked for praise or tooted my own horn, my mother would say "I love me, who do you love. It's not nice to ask for compliments or tell people you've done something good." She always told me that you should never expect praise and should always brush it off.

I loved my mother, she was a wise and good woman - but she was also a product of her times.

And I have a really, really hard time accepting compliments, fwiw.

[traintracks.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think flat-out asking for praise can feel awkward because it IS awkward. I'm not a complete fan of it on general principle, mostly because I think girls and women need to be taught to find validation within themselves first. Neediness can be a real turn off, too. But I think taking praise that's freely offered is a learned behavior and one that's really difficult, especially with histories that constantly tell us we shouldn't. And I don't believe there's anything wrong with graciously accepting praise for our gifts and achievements.

FWIW, you deserve all the beautiful praise that you get. <3

[eidheann_writes]

I think it is less the praise itself than the asking for it.

[traintracks.livejournal.com]

Yes, this! We publish our stories with the anticipation of praise, so it's not abhorrent to us to get it. It's the asking for it. It's the blatant self-promotion.

[kedavranox.livejournal.com]

Yep. Its why writers are the worst marketers/promoters for their own books :-/

[traintracks.livejournal.com]

Can you imagine if we all started putting in the notes of our stories, "OMG, everyone should read this! It's so goddamned hot!" LOL! :-D

[eidheann_writes]

I love giving praise, but much more organically as a system of squee that kinda... trickles (or flows) along as things trigger.

This asking is hard. What if I can't think of all the things I love? What if the comment below me is 2paragraphs and I only did 2sentences- does that mean I fail or that they will think I love less? THE PRESSURE! I JUST LOVE YOU OKAY? *flails*

Kinda like that in my head sometimes.

[traintracks.livejournal.com]

Awwww, no pressure! Your comments are completely awesome. <333 Plus, you can always fall back on your Draco-taking-it-SO-HARD-UP-THE-ASS-from-Harry icon. :-DDD